A New Dawn
by Adara-chan67
Summary: Songfic, HieiKurama, rated for a bit of language and the shounenai thing. Hiei Jaganshi and Yoko Kurama have always been alone, and have always thought they were all right with that. But when they met by chance in the Ningenkai, everything changed. FIN!
1. Two Worlds: Prologue

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything EXCEPT…and this is kind of a big except…the plot._

_Characters: Mostly Hiei/Kurama, but there are also guest appearances by the rest of the Tentei, of course—plus Koenma. Sorry about that._

_Setting: Pretty much…any time…doesn't matter…_

_Warnings: Character death, shounen-ai. Have a problem? Then go away. I'm sorry, but I'm cranky._

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_Author's Note: I'm back again! Sorry this took so long to get up, but I've been really busy ever since I finished Red and didn't have time to start a new story. But it's the weekend now, so I had a chance to write some!_

_Anyway, on the subject of this story: it's not exactly like my other stories. Basically, I'm just taking some things that happened in the show and changing them around, or adding to them, for most of the story, until the end, which is my own. I'm sorry if that kind of thing bores you, but it's what I wanted to write and no one is making you read it…although I'd appreciate it if you did, and reviewed._

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Prologue

**Put your faith in what you most believe in.**

**Two worlds, one family.**

**Trust your heart.**

**Let fate decide**

**To guide these lives we see.**

The Koorime land was a desolate place. Lonely. There were very few who could survive here for long, and of those, fewer wanted to set foot in the territory. All knew that coming here usually meant death. After all, the Koorime were…famous.

However, tonight, there was one who took that risk. He would be in great peril if he was discovered…not that he was safe even if he wasn't seen.

But all the same, he had to come. Though he hated this place and its people with a vengeance, though he longed to destroy every single thing within its bounds, he couldn't stay away.

_Damn her. Damn the woman for her lie_.

Of course, she wasn't _entirely_ to blame, and he wasn't above admitting his part in the thing. But she was far more at fault. She had been in disguise, and she could have tried to fight him off. It wouldn't have worked for most, but she was _Koorime_. If he had known, he would have left her alone.

_Anyone_ would have. You didn't mess with Koorime. They were…famous.

**A paradise untouched by man.**

**Within this world blessed with love,**

**A simple life, they live in peace.**

Fire demons don't get hot. That is obvious. But to make up for it, it seems, they are very vulnerable to the cold.

Normally, the demon would have simply used his—rather enormous—power to warm himself, and he _had_ tried, but this cursed place didn't simply _resist_ heat—he could have easily dealt with simple _resistance_—but _banished_ it.

Which made it pretty much the worse and most dangerous place the demon had ever been.

Best get this over with fast, then.

**Softly tread the sand below your feet, now.**

**Two worlds, one family.**

**Trust your heart.**

**Let fate decide**

**To guide these lives we see.**

It felt as if he had been walking around for hours. If he hadn't been so physically strong when he came, he'd probably be dead already. Gods, he _hated_ it here. But if it meant that he could finally do what he had been thinking of for so long, then…it was good.

He came, at last, to the spot. He had never been here, never been told to come, but all the same, he _knew_ that he was supposed to wait right here, because this was where _she_ would come.

The demon found a spot under the tangle of evergreen trees—the only tree that could survive in this bone-cracking cold—and settled down to wait.

**Beneath the shelter of the trees,**

**Only love can enter here.**

**A simple life, they live in peace.**

At long last, she came. He had not heard her, seen her, or sensed her, but he hadn't expected to, and aside from a slight twitch, he showed no surprise at her sudden appearance. He didn't even look up, and waited for her to speak first.

"I knew you would come."

He didn't look, still. "Undoubtedly. But not for the reason you think."

She laughed, and there was no humor in the sound. "Oh, I know _exactly_ why you are here."

He believed her. But despite the fact that she knew what he was going to do, she showed no fear, and sat down next to him. She was not cold, and so had no discomfort to contend with, which put her one up on him.

They sat in silence for some time before she said, "Twins."

He looked at her then, and despite himself, his breath caught. She was beautiful, and like all men, he had a difficult time seeing past the long hair that swirled gently in the cutting wind, the wide, innocent eyes, the pale, pale skin, and the soft features. But if you looked long enough, you realized that a Koorime's beauty is a cold, brittle thing. Her heart is too cold to be truly beautiful.

He turned away. "You know that this is your own fault."

"Yes. And I am willing to accent the punishment, whether it be exile or death." The disdain in her voice made him stiffen for a moment, but then he laughed, harshly.

"You speak of punishment, but what race would punish a man for following his body's will, when he can't know the grave outcome of his actions? Only yours. I remind you, I didn't know what you were until too late. You have no excuse."

"You would not have held back."

He grunted noncommittally. _Yes, I would_. Then, "Do they know?"

"Not yet. I wanted to meet with you first."

"What if I hadn't come?"

"I knew you would. I will tell them tonight."

"You say this even knowing why I'm here?"

She didn't so much as twitch when she heard his sword slide out of its sheath in a hiss of steel. It was time to end the confining courtesy.

She looked up as the blade began to fall, and their eyes met. Hers showed no anger, only the coldness of her kind. "I do."

**Raise your head up.**

**Lift high the load.**

**Take strength from those that need you.**

**Build high the walls.**

**Build strong the beams.**

**A new life is waiting.**

**But danger's no stranger here.**

The young Koorime woman walked slowly through the white, unmarked snow. Though she wore only sandals and an ankle-length, thin kimono, she did not feel the cold. Not on the outside.

But inside, she was chilled. She wanted so badly to be different from her frozen-hearted kin. Had wanted it all her life. But apparently, she was just like them, no matter what she said or how she protested.

And now she had to go and tell them. She knew what the outcome was likely to be: death. That or exile. Those were the prices of defying Koorime law, and she held no illusions that they would make an exception. If anything, they would be _crueler_ to her. And one thing was certain in this sea of confusion: there would be no love lost between her and the other Koorime over this. That which does not exist cannot be lost. She only hoped that she could find someone to care for her children before she went.

There were no lights anywhere before her, but she did not have to see to find her way. She walked as slowly as she could toward the largest "house" in the village, feeling and not feeling the snow beneath her feet and the touch of wind upon her face. She heard nothing because there was no sound and saw little because there were no lamps. Hers was a life of darkness and silence, and she had never known that she loved the peace until this moment, when she knew that this was probably her last night to feel it.

"I must see the Old One."

A figure moved, black against black, when she spoke. She did not start; she had known the person was there. "It is late." The woman paused, as if expecting some reply. None came. "You must come back tomorrow."

"No. I need to see her now." _If I do not, I will lose my courage_.

It was dim inside the large "house", which was really a hut, with the only illumination being a single candle in its brass holder on the wall. In its yellow light sat an old, old woman. Her face was so lined with wrinkles that her features could hardly be made out. Her hair had gone from green to blue-gray. Her arms were like twigs, the bones brittle, but her hands appeared strong. Her eyes were clouded over—she was blind.

But appearances were deceiving. This was the most powerful person in the Ice World, though her physical form was frail.

"Speak."

The voice was harsh and raspy, but clearly used to giving orders and having them followed.

"I have done something, Old One," the young Koorime said, choosing each word carefully. "I have need of council." _Or punishment_.

The Old One was silent, clearly not intending to say anything until the story was told.

"I have broken many of our laws in doing what I have done. I left the Koorime lands, if only for less than a night. I was aware of what I was doing when I left. I was aware of the laws and the consequences of breaking them. I was under no influence but my own. I left for no reason other than that I wanted to. I think that…part of me wanted to break this rule."

This was bad enough, but the worst was yet to come. She wished that the Old One would stop her, but she didn't so much as shift on the mat she sat on.

"That is not the worst. I…when I left…I laid…with a man."

She thought she detected a slight change in the Old One's position, but there was still no sound. Speaking quickly now, as if hurrying to finish sucking poison from a wound, she finished. "And now I am pregnant. With…with twins." That last part was nearly impossible to get out. Koorime woman had only one child at a time.

There was a long silence, during which the old one sat and the young one stood uncertainly in front of her. Then…

"Who is the father?"

"A hiyoukai, Old One."

"One born of fire. And why does he not come for judgment?"

"He…is dead, Old One."

"An accident?" It was not a real question, but still required an answer.

"No, Old One. I killed him." This, at least, she was not afraid to admit. Killing was no crime anywhere in Makai. Nevertheless, she felt deeply ashamed, and sad. True, she had done what she had to do to protect her life and the lives inside her, but she still thought it wrong to kill in cold blood. That was one thing that set her apart from her kind.

"And you come to seek judgment now. I know this. Leave me and I will think upon the matter."

**No words describe a mother's tears.**

**No words can heal a broken heart.**

**A dream is gone, but where there's hope…**

The view from the edge of the Ice World, a mile up in the air, was usually beautiful. That was one thing anyone would have agreed upon, if anyone in Makai cared about beauty. You could see miles and miles in any direction, and the sunrises and sunsets viewed from here were a sight to behold.

But though the sun rose this morning, its beauty was lost upon one person or more. These people stood in a cluster near the very edge of the Ice World. Two of them held babies in their arms, but the fact that only one of them was a mother could be easily seen in the way they held the children. One cradled the baby she held very carefully, as if it were the most precious thing in existence. The other held _her_ child as if it would burn her, as if she longed to throw it away.

The former was also sobbing, pleading frantically for something, while the latter looked stonily at her. Then the old woman barked a command, and the mother fell silent, though it obviously cost her a great deal in willpower. Once she was stifled, the old one turned and walked slowly, carefully, toward the edge of the island in their air, ignoring the renewed pleas behind her.

As the sun crested over the horizon directly in front of the small group, a little bundle fell over the cliffs, down, down, down into oblivion, and screaming sobs echoed over the quiet-looking Makai.

**Somewhere, something is calling for you.**

**Two worlds, one family.**

**Trust your heart.**

**Let fate decide**

**To guide these lives we see.**


	2. Son of Man: Chapter 1

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but the plot._

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_Author's Note: Sorry this chapter took so long to post, guys. It took forever to write, because with me being a freshman and all, the only time I have to write anything at all is in my science class because my teacher never pays me any attention. And then, when I finally got the chapter written, I had to wait until Thanksgiving break to type anything. And then there are the intense rewrites I always do as I type because I panic and start thinking everything sucks when it comes time for me to post…I'm very self-critical, people tell me…_

_But enough with my excuses, here's the chapter! And by the way, if you find this boring, please, please tell me. I'd like to know so I can try to change that. I've never written anything like this fic before, you see…_

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Chapter 1

**Oh, the power to be strong,**

**And the wisdom to be wise,**

**All these things will come to you in time.**

**On this journey that you're making,**

**There'll be answers that you'll seek.**

**And it's you who'll climb the mountain.**

**It's you who'll reach the peak.**

It was night in Makai. Everything slept, or should have been sleeping, and at least slightly safe in their beds. Well, that was the illusion, at least. In reality, very few actually slept in Makai, and of those, only the strongest were _safe_ in sleep.

A young demon moved silently through the shadows, black against black, a part of the night. He was one of the many who wasn't completely safe in sleep—yet—and so he remained awake, always. This demon did not know his true name, the one given him by his mother. He had no parents, or real family. He didn't even know how old he was.

But none of that really mattered, anyway. Not at all to his enemies, less to the people who weren't friends but didn't want to kill him, and little to the demon himself. What mattered was that he _frightened_ them…

True, he didn't _look_ dangerous. In point of fact, he looked like nothing more than a child in body. He was short, reaching no higher than five feet, and never to be taller. His black-and-white spiked hair was the only thing that made him even that tall. He was so thin that it was almost unhealthy, and looked as if he could be easily broken in half. He seemed to be only about twelve years old.

But one tended to forget all this the moment one looked into those large, red eyes. They had none of a child's curiosity, none of a small boy's joy at life. In fact, to the eyes of most, they held nothing at all…

**Son of Man, look to the sky.**

**Lift your spirit, set it free.**

**One day you'll walk tall with pride.**

**Son of Man, a man in time you'll be.**

Tokyo was just as busy at night as it was in the day, and twice as dangerous. The traffic along the highway was never-ending, and the foot traffic was even worse. Under the cover of darkness, the gangs of violence-craving boys and men could roam freely through the city without much fear of patrolmen. This made even walking down a crowded street dangerous for most.

A young man—or rather, an old boy—walked slowly down one of the more deserted roads, and turned into a deserted alleyway. He seemed undisturbed by the darkness and silence, and didn't even twitch when an empty metal trashcan was knocked over by a couple of tomcats.

He certainly _looked_ as if he should have been afraid. He didn't look older than ten or eleven, and, in fact, he wasn't. He was small and frail looking, with pale skin, red hair that he seemed to be letting grow out, and large, intelligent green eyes. His skin seemed even paler than it should have been, and his expression was hooded, but the green eyes showed a deep kind of sadness. It wasn't the kind of sadness you felt sorry for, though; it was the kind that spelled death for all who crossed him.

**Oh, there's no one there to guide you,**

**No one to take your hand,**

**But with faith and understanding,**

**You will journey from boy to man.**

The little black-haired demon honestly didn't know what to do now. All his life, he had had some purpose. As a child, he had earned his keep as a thief, stealing to make his way up through the ranks of his old "family." When that part of his life ended, his purpose, the reason for his continued existence, was to find his real family. The people he had never known. Hell, the only reason he knew _about _his mother and sister was through the Makai grapevine…

He didn't even remember why he had become so obsessed. There was no logic behind his behavior. No reason. That stupid necklace was no reason to act the way he had. So what if it was the only tie to his mother? What did it matter? He had never even _met_ her, by the gods!

But the reason didn't matter anymore. He had forsaken the only family he had ever known to find her, and it was all for naught. That was what mattered. He had to find a new purpose. He had _always_ had a reason to go on, and now…he just had to find another one.

That was all there was to it.

**Son of Man, look to the sky.**

**Lift your spirit, set it free.**

**One day you'll walk tall with pride.**

**Son of Man, a man in time you'll be.**

The redheaded human, Suuichi, was…confused.

This was a rare thing in itself. Even as a small human child, he had understood an unusual number of things. He was hardly ever wrong, and usually knew what was going on without having to ask. Hardly anything about the world surprised him.

But that was only true for things he could see and touch. Things like science, and math, and foreign languages, and books, nothing like that could stump him. But all of those things were just…things he had picked up.

He still wasn't used to human emotions. He couldn't see them, couldn't touch him, and so he didn't understand them. And he didn't really like them, either.

He didn't think…

It was that last part that was making him crazy. There should be no question that he hated humans _and_ their feelings. For his entire life, he had just _done_ things. Whatever occurred to him to do, he did it. No consequences, no guilt, nothing. And he had _loved_ it. He had loved the freedom, loved not being attached to anything, or anyone.

But that had been in his old home. He was in Tokyo now.

He didn't have to be, but he was.

He could have gone home by now, but he hadn't.

Why not?

**In learning you will teach,**

**And in teaching you will learn.**

**You'll find your place beside the ones you love.**

**Oh, and all the things you dreamed of,**

**The visions that you saw,**

**Well, the time is drawing near now.**

**It's yours to claim it all.**

The sun rose slowly over the horizon, brightening Makai with its rays.

The demon cursed. He hated daylight. It felt…unsafe, as if everything that wanted to kill him was watching him. At night, darkness cloaked him, made him safe. It protected him from prying eyes, and gave him a distinct advantage over those who needed light to see.

He was in no mood for the sun today, either. It always seemed to be mocking him, and he had no patience for that right now.

He found a nice, big tree, and began to climb it, still muttering darkly and casting distrustful looks over his shoulder. No one was there—there probably wasn't anyone within five miles in any direction—but that didn't stop him from being paranoid.

He didn't stop watching until he was at the very top of the tree, where the wind that could not be felt on the ground caused him to sway gently from side to side. He was far too used to trees to be nervous, and he made his way nimbly to the thickest branch he could fine. There, he settled with his back against the tree trunk, took the black sheath off his belt, slid his sword inside it, and held it against his chest. Casting one more look down and around to make sure that he was completely hidden, he allowed himself to drift into an uneasy sleep.

**Son of Man, look to the sky.**

**Lift your spirit, set it free.**

**One day you'll walk tall with pride.**

**Son of Man, a man in time you'll be.**

_Why did she have to love me? _

That was all Suuichi could think as he left the alleyway and turned onto the road to his house. Why did that fool human have to love him? This would be so much easier, and far less confusing, if she had hated him for the last ten years. He had certainly given the woman enough reason to, as far as he was concerned. He must have made her feel so inferior…he had certainly treated her as if she was.

But she still loved him.

Why?

And more importantly, why did he feel as if he loved her just as much?

_Because he did_.

The answer came suddenly, and though part of his mind denied it harshly, the other part told him clearly that it was true. He loved his mother—for that was what she was, and he knew it now—and loved her in the deepest, most profound way possible. It was a connection of blood and life and soul, and he had never understood it until now. He had seen it before, many times, but he had never truly known what it meant.

But now it was clear. He loved that human woman as he had never loved anything in his life, and he wanted to love her. It felt incredible to care so much about another living creature.

And he had felt it before, many times. But he had always denied it, pushed it away. It was too new, too different, and he hadn't ever dreamed that he'd like it.

He never would have done that if he'd known how good it felt.

But what if it was too late? What if the disease the doctor had said was eating away at Shiori actually took her? Would this new feeling die with her? Why did that thought make his stomach lurch like that?

Suuichi heaved a sigh as he turned onto his street. He would just have to find a way to help her, that was all. He couldn't fathom how, but he would do it. He was _determined_ to do it.

Well, if he survived the blow this demon who had randomly appeared was about to throw at him.

Later, the only thing he could figure was that his mind was such a tangle of confusion, and that was why the demon was able to attack him. But luckily, his instincts were still more or less intact, and he leapt to the side without really noticing he had, so that the first swing of steel left him with nothing more than a tear in his shirt. He jumped to the side and landed, catlike, a few feet away. Still crouched, he looked up to see his attacker.

It was definitely a demon. A male demon, very short, about as tall as Suuichi. Red eyes glared at him from under a white headband, partially covered by spiky black and white bangs. His right arm, which poked out from under his long black cloak, was bandaged from hand to elbow. A long sword glittered in that hand in the light of a nearby street lamp.

An alarm went off in Kurama's head as he surveyed the demon. His intuition told him that those bandages and that headband were not there for injury or decoration. The demon's ki was very strong, except for in those spots.

Wards.

The alarm grew louder. He had heard of a demon with wards in exactly the same places. The stories all said that he would look completely unremarkable, but the moment you turned away…he would kill you.

Neither Suuichi nor his attacker had moved so much as an inch as Suuichi's mind worked all this out. The demon seemed to be waiting for something.

Suuichi stood slowly, bringing himself to his full height of five feet one inch. Whoever this guy was, he had attacked with the intent to kill, and Suuichi had no time for that tonight. He felt a jolt of anger.

He started to reach up to his hair with the intent of disposing of this stranger, but something stayed his hand.

The demon had not even twitched, though he must have felt Suuichi's sudden burst of rage. He didn't seem to care that the redhead wanted to kill him. In fact, he didn't seem to care about anything. Suuichi took a moment to look closer at his face, and he noticed things he hadn't before.

The demon looked worn, and tired. Not physically, but inside. He looked tired of life. Like one of those people who has seen too much and doesn't want to see anymore. Somehow, Suuichi knew that he was just forcing himself to keep going, out of some sense of duty, or maybe just out of anger.

Suuichi dropped his hand, and before he thought about it, took a step forward.

The demon started and jumped back as though Suuichi had struck him. The sword came up, and Suuichi stopped cold. They stared at each other for another moment, and then Suuichi spoke, softly.

"It's all right, I don't want to hurt you. You just…startled me, is all."

The demon didn't say anything, and the tip of his sword didn't waver. He might not have heard the words, for all the attention he paid. Suuichi felt a stab of annoyance.

"Come on, put the sword down. I'm not in the mood for a fight. I'm tired, I'm unhappy, and I'm hungry. So either tell me who you are or leave me alone."

Anger seemed to get through to the demon more than anything. He let his blade drop slightly, but he still didn't say anything.

Suuichi rolled his eyes. "Okay, so you won't give your name. I get that. But why are you in the Ningenkai? And why are you attacking _me?_"

Still not a word.

Sighing, Suuichi said, "Whatever. Sit here and stare at nothing, I don't care, but don't attack me again." He turned away and began walking, listening carefully in case the demon decided to attack after all.

"Hiei Jaganshi."

Suuichi stopped and pivoted slowly on the spot. The demon had lowered his sword all the way, and now he was just watching Suuichi, looking vaguely surprised with himself.

"My name is…"

Here he paused, and then started to give his human name. But the words changed on the way to his mouth, and came out rather differently:

"Yoko Kurama."

Hiei's eyes went wide with shock he'd forgotten to disguise. The hand curled around the sword hilt he held slackened its grip, and he nearly dropped the thing. His deep voice, when he spoke again, was faint.

"…Oh…"

**Son of Man,**

**A man for all to see.**

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_Author's Note: PLEASE make me a happy authoress and review! I need more feedback!_

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**Reviewers' comments:**

**Nikkler**: Thanks for the review! I'm glad it wasn't too boring for you…I was afraid if would be, you see…

**DragonRose888**: Thanks for the review! I updated as fast as I could, but I'm sorry it wasn't faster…

**KyoHana**: Ah, one of my best reviewers returns! Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I hope you find this chapter as interesting as you did the first one! If you didn't find it interesting…well, see the author's note at the top of the page.


	3. Superman: Chapter 2

_DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Never will._

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_Author's Note: Happy snow time, lovely readers! I am VERY happy because right now it is snowing heavily here in Missouri and the weather report expects at least 3 inches! YAY! I LOVE SNOW!_

_But whatever, you're here to read the story, not hear about my current happiness._

_Okay, so anyway…this chapter went in a TOTALLY different direction than I expected, but that's okay, because I like this version better. It gives me more to write, an extra chapter to add, makes the fic last longer, which is also a cause for celebration—to me, anyway._

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Chapter 2

**I can't stand to fly.**

**I'm not that naïve.**

**I'm just out to find**

**A better part of me.**

_+Flashback+_

"_Did you do it, kid?" _

_Hiei suppressed a smile, and held up the heavy silk bag he had in his left hand, sheathing the sword that was almost as tall as he was with his right. _

_The demon who had questioned him took it and hefted it, looking mildly suspicious. _

"_Go on, count it if you like," Hiei said, knowing full well why he was apprehensive and not feeling offended in the least. "It's all there, all the scout said there would be." _

_That was enough—the demon had never truly believed that Hiei had taken anything for himself. He smiled and turned back to the subject of their conversation. "This will make Jien happy enough. You're good, kid."_

_Hiei gave a small, fanged grin, and did not let his happiness show. It had taken time to earn the trust and friendship of this band of thieves, and he always liked to be reminded of it. "I'm a fair thief—and certainly better than you—" The grin became more pronounced—"but I'm not up to the level I aspire to."_

_His fellow thief rolled his eyes. "Will you give it up? You will never reach the level of Yoko Kurama. No one will, even Jien. He admits it himself. Set your sights a little lower, or you'll end up disappointed…"_

_+End flashback+_

**I'm more than a bird.**

**I'm more than a plane,**

**More than some pretty face beside a train.**

**It's not easy to be me.**

_If only you could be here now, Kei… _

Hiei had no doubt that his old friend would have known exactly what to do in this situation. He would have known instantly whether or not to kill the redhead, whether or not to believe him.

But Kei was dead. He had died before Hiei had been tossed out by Jien. He had died because of the danger Hiei brought. He had died saving Hiei…

Hiei jerked himself roughly back to the present, away from the image of the sword running Kei through, his blood saturating his shirt almost instantly, and back to the present issue—whether or not to believe the redhead's outrageous claim.

Hiei had still been a small boy, barely five, when Kei had told him about Yoko Kurama. But he had been old enough to know instantly that he wanted to be exactly like the wild kitsune thief of legend. He had spent most of his life—until recently—honing his skills, striving to reach his goal.

He had heard that Yoko had disappeared about ten years ago, that he had been shot in a moment of recklessness. He hadn't expected to ever hear of him again. But now, here was this little human boy, claiming to be his idol…it was utterly ridiculous, and a good-sized part of him wanted to kill the kid and move on.

And yet…

And yet, there _was_ that youki he had felt the moment he had entered the Ningenkai. Where had _that_ come from?

Well, that was easy to answer—it was clear, now he was so close. It was coming from the boy, but…

Hiei had never felt anything like this human's ki before. It was as if the kid was divided in two from the inside. Half his ki was youki, strong and wild and untamed, and half was ningenki, fragile and soft and gentle. There was also an almost tangible sadness around him, and a powerful tangle of confusion…

Well, he understood how that last one felt, and he thought it no wonder that the guy was annoyed with him.

_What do I do? _

**Wish that I could cry,**

**Fall upon my knees,**

**Find a way to lie**

**About a home I'll never see.**

Suuichi could almost see the thoughts if the little demon as he worked things out. He knew that Hiei was deciding whether or not he was telling the truth, whether or not it was even _possible_. He knew that Hiei was trying to work out his mixed ki, his appearance, how he _maybe could _be Yoko Kurama. He saw the point when Hiei started to remember something, forced himself to stop, and drifted back again. He saw the point when Hiei almost decided to kill him, and the point when he changed his mind.

And he saw the point when Hiei decided to trust him, but not too much, and only for now.

So it didn't come as a surprise to him when Hiei met his eyes, nodded once, and sheathed his sword. He still didn't speak. His silence would have been annoying if Suuichi wasn't such a quiet person himself. As it was, it was still a little disconcerting.

"Listen, I still don't really know who you are, or why you've come here." _And I imagine you're wondering the same about me._ "But you seem a little tired, and I am, too. Why don't you come home with me, and we can talk?"

Hiei just watched him.

_He could outstare Yomi, and Yomi doesn't need to blink,_ Suuichi thought uneasily, remembering the blind demon who had been one of his worst enemies. No one's gaze had ever unnerved him like that, and that, perhaps, was what caused him to roll his eyes and say, "Fine, whatever," and give up entirely.

He was walking quickly toward his house, having just turned his back quite firmly on the little fire demon, his mind still a muddle of confusion, but now that was coupled with irritation, which was perhaps why he didn't immediately notice that there were two sets of shoes slapping the cement sidewalk instead of one.

That fact registered about ten feet from his house, and he turned quickly, thinking, _Am I _ever_ going to get home?_

The thought flew abruptly from his head when he saw who was following him. Hiei Jaganshi was walking serenely down the street, for all the world as though he belonged in Tokyo and knew exactly where he was going.

Suuichi fought back a smile. He was well practiced with this, and by the time Hiei caught up, his face was determinedly impassive.

**It may sound absurd,**

**But don't be naïve.**

**Even heroes have the right to bleed.**

**I may be disturbed,**

**But don't you concede.**

**Even heroes have the right to dream.**

**It's not easy to be me.**

Suuichi didn't speak as he led Hiei into his house. He was trying to decide the best way to approach the topic on his mind. To give himself thinking time, he simply watched Hiei, who was looking uneasily around the small vestibule, his hand back on his sword hilt—out of habit, it seemed. Though he hid it well, Suuichi was adept at reading people, and he could tell that the small hiyoukai was uneasy.

Suuichi was at a loss for words, and he didn't quite understand why. To keep the silence from stretching on any more—he was already jumpy enough, for some reason—he said, "Kitchen's through here. I'm going to get something to eat. Are—"

His question was cut off as Hiei walked silently past him in the direction Suuichi had indicated. After a moment Suuichi followed him, trying to decide whether to be offended or amused.

Amusement won out when he saw Hiei standing in the warm, spotless kitchen, staring at the refrigerator, the stove, the microwave, and the oven as if unsure whether or not they were alive and dangerous. The soft whirring that came from the running dishwasher seemed to disturb him more than anything else, for his eyes darted to it frequently, and each time his hand strayed to his sword.

Suuichi permitted himself a smile, but held his laughter in. "Are you hungry?" he asked as he walked past Hiei to one of the brown wood cabinets, and took down a plate and a glass. He turned in time to notice Hiei's hesitation before he shook his head. He was clearly lying—from the look of him he hadn't eaten in days, but he seemed to be well acquainted with hunger. Suuichi debated forcing the issue and then decided against it—it might make Hiei even more uncomfortable here. But that conclusion didn't stop Suuichi from carefully letting Hiei see everything he took out of the fridge and cabinets as he threw together a sandwich of cold chicken, lettuce, and cheese. Hiei met the subtle challenge well, and simply didn't look at him.

The kitchen was entirely silent as Suuichi sat down at the table and began to eat, after gesturing for Hiei to sit down, too. To his surprise, Hiei complied without argument, and carefully looked anywhere but Suuichi's sandwich.

As the quiet stretched on, Hiei began to relax. Out of the corner of his eye, Suuichi watched his hand fall to his side, away from his sword, and his shoulders become less tense. He let the silence continue until Hiei was almost completely relaxed—he was obviously too cautious to let his guard down all the way—and then said, in an offhand way, "You're the Forbidden Child, aren't you?"

**Up, up and away,**

**Away from me.**

**It's all right.**

**You can all sleep sound tonight.**

**I'm not crazy**

**Or anything.**

Hiei twitched, but seemed to be practiced at not reacting overmuch to that question, though it must have caused him great pain.

What kind of life has he had, to be so able to mask his emotions?

To Suuichi's surprise, Hiei actually answered him. "I am. What do you care?"

It didn't seem like a rhetorical question, somehow, and Suuichi took a slow bite of his sandwich, chewing to give himself time to think of his answer. "Well, I had just heard a lot about you, when I lived in Makai, And I noticed your wards, and put two and two together, and I just…wondered," he finished, somewhat lamely. He glanced at Hiei, who was still looking intently away from him. "I'm sorry."

Hiei seemed to forget entirely about the sandwich, and his stoic poker face. It couldn't have been clearer that he had never heard those words, in that order, directed at him, in his life. He fixed his eyes on Suuichi, and they became less guarded. "Why?"

Suuichi was taken aback for a moment at the question. "Well…because no one should have to go through what you have."

Even as he said the words, he realized how confusing they would be to Hiei, who had grown up in a place where no one gave a damn about another's well-being. They sounded strange to him, come to think of it, and he wondered for a moment why he had said them. But then he simply attributed it to this new feeling inside him, and left it at that.

There was another silence, during which Suuichi finished his sandwich and then simply sat and watched Hiei, who looked determinedly at the table.

After a moment, he spoke—to the table, it seemed.

"So how do you know about me, anyway?"

Suuichi was surprised by this question, but managed not to show it in his face. "You know who I am. I could see it from your reaction to my name. So you must know that I lived in Makai for centuries. Am I correct?"

Hiei nodded, his thoughts clear for once. _Where is this going?_

"Then how can you ask me that?"

When Hiei continued to look baffled, Suuichi was struck by a realization.

"Wait…don't you _know_?"

Hiei shook his head, ever so slightly.

"Hiei, you're the most famous demon born this century!" Suuichi said, speaking Hiei's name for the first time that night. If he hadn't been so intent on straightening all this out, he would have noticed how much he liked the feeling of saying it—but alas, he was too distracted. "Do you have any idea how many people know of you!?"

Apparently, the answer was no, for Hiei's face was blank. "Why?"

"_Why_?" Suuichi repeated incredulously. "Are you serious?" But he knew Hiei was—he really hadn't had any idea how famous he was, how feared. "Well, there's your heritage, for one…"

"I knew that one," Hiei muttered. "But that doesn't mean they _all_ know of me…"

It was the longest string of words he had uttered all night, and it seemed to surprise him, for he fell silent and stared at the table again.

"That isn't the only contributing factor. You're a _Jaganshi_. Obviously people will know of you. You must know how rare they are. How did you get it anyway? How do you control it? And _why_ did you get it?"

Hiei shrugged and spoke in short, choppy sentences. "Saw a guy. Convinced him to give it to me. Worked hard, for months." He ignored the last question entirely.

Seeing that he didn't want to talk about it, he added, "And then, of course, there's your…various weapons…"

Hiei showed no sign of pain at that—though he showed no pleasure either—so Suuichi figured it was okay to keep talking.

"That's what actually brought news of you to me, you know. People are most frightened of your weapons. You mastered them all, and people are sure now that you can do anything, so you scare them. And…well, word gets around twice as fast by fear." Suuichi shrugged. "So naturally I heard of you." He took a swallow of water and looked at Hiei, who was staring again at the table. "How did you learn about me?"

"You know my story. Where do you think I heard about you?" Another extended phrase.

"I only know that you were born in the Ice World and thrown out because you were a man." Suuichi shrugged. "I don't know where you went after that."

Hiei grunted, and seemed to think for a moment, before telling his story in a few short sentences. He told about being found by the band of thieves, and being raised by them, and learning if the famous thief Yoko Kurama from a fellow thief. Then he fell silent, looking as if he would never recover from the number of words he had spoken.

"So why are you in the Ningenkai?" Suuichi asked. _You don't belong here_.

The silence that followed his question was the longest yet. Then Hiei said, in a voice with absolutely no emotion, "That isn't your business, and it isn't something I want to talk about."

And from the finality in his voice, Suuichi knew that their conversation was over.

**I can't stand to fly.**

**I'm not that naïve.**

**Men weren't meant to ride**

**With clouds between their knees.**

Suuichi sat at the table for a while longer, carefully not looking at Hiei unless he was sure Hiei was looking the other way. The hiyoukai did not look angry, but he did look resolute. He was not going to tell why he was here, either because it was a secret or simply because he was embarrassed.

But even though he was silent to the point of being unnerving, secretive to the point of being annoying, he was also…intriguing. His guard seemed to be collapsing, against his will, and Suuichi suddenly knew many things about him. For instance, it was obvious that he didn't know the first thing about trust or friendship. He clearly preferred to work alone.

But it was just as obvious that he had known friendship and trust once. This was shown by the fact that he had not taken Suuichi's life immediately upon finding him, after the initial swing—and even that, upon reflection, had really been rather half-hearted, designed to subdue rather than kill. Someone had taught him not to kill on sight, but rather to find out about the opponent first, and learn if he was a potential ally. And in Makai, this was rare—there it was kill first, think later. Most just didn't care to pass on their wisdom, but someone had cared enough about Hiei to teach him these things. A friend, someone Hiei had trusted.

But what had happened to this friend? Why was Hiei not with that demon now? What made him so angry? For he was clearly as angry as he was sad—both emotions threatened to overcome his power, each present in so much force that it was impossible to tell which would win, each restrained with difficulty by Hiei himself. It was apparent that he was locked in a constant battle with himself to keep his power from swelling and bursting at the seams, to destroy him and many others, and it was also evident that this war had been going on for a very long time. Even so, the slightest nudge might change everything. The problem was, that nudge could either be for the good, or the bad.

Suuichi immediately vowed that he would not be the one to give Hiei that push in the wrong direction.

And then there were all the other emotions that Hiei had to contend with, beyond the sadness and anger and mad power struggle with his own body. They existed in lesser amounts, but they were still there, and making themselves known. Confusion, physical and metal pain, and a well-contained, ever-present, pushed away and carefully ignored _fear_.

In fact, the only emotion that Hiei Jaganshi did _not_ seem to possess was joy.

_How does he survive_ feeling _all this?_

But an even more important question was:

_What do I do now?_

**I'm only a man in a silly red sheet,**

**Digging for kryptonite on this one way street.**

**I'm only a man in a funny red sheet,**

**Looking for special things inside of me.**

**Inside of me.**

**Inside me.**

**Yeah, inside me.**

**Inside of me.**

Suuichi reached his decision in moments—there really hadn't been many options. He stood abruptly and said, "I'm tired. I'm going to go up to bed, I guess. You can stay here, if you want. Living room's through there, and the couch is comfortable. Maybe tomorrow you could tell me why you're here. Maybe I could help you find whatever you're looking for."

Hiei looked impassively at him, and then got up and left the kitchen without looking back. He did not go to the living room, but back into the hall. Suuichi heard the door open and then close, and then he was alone in the house.

He stood there, for a long time, and then he turned slowly and walked toward the stairs that led up to his bedroom, his mind spinning with a thousand questions.

He felt as if he had crammed years of life into the last few hours. It was so hard to believe that only that afternoon he had been walking home from school, still as haughty and superior as ever, convinced that soon, he would be going _home_. He had been so happy mere hours earlier—how could things have changed so?

He had not expected to be in this world tonight. He had planned on heading back to Makai the moment he was out of sight of humans. It had been all he could think about. What did he care that Shiori would be terrified at the disappearance of her "son"? What did it matter if she was alone again, as long as he was happy? His goal, his sole reason for living, for the past ten years, had been to get back to Makai. That was his _life_.

But all of his priorities had shifted very suddenly when he'd walked into his house and seen his mother lying on the kitchen floor. His first thought had been, _What is she doing home already?_ That had been followed closely by, _Why is she sleeping on the floor?_

And then the realization had crashed down on him with something like the force of a twelve-story building falling from the sky directly onto his head. Shiori was not asleep, but unconscious.

Things had blurred after that. Suuichi vaguely remembered calling an ambulance, strange men in white uniforms surrounding him and lifting Shiori into the ambulance, waiting for a good three hours in the hospital waiting room…

Then things abruptly became clearer.

He remembered the look on the doctor's face when he had finally showed up, the questioning of where Suuichi's father was, was there someone he could call, who would take care of him. He remembered the doubtful look on the doctor's face when he insisted that he could take care of himself.

He remembered demanding to know what had happened, and he also remembered being told that it was complicated. And he remembered the doctor finally relenting to his demands, empty threats—well, empty to the doctor, who thought that Suuichi was an average ten-year-old who could be bribed to do anything for sweets, including stopping asking about his very ill mother—and pleas, and telling him of the disease that was slowly killing his mother.

He doubted that he'd ever forget that moment, when the world had fallen away and the only things left were Suuichi, the doctor, and a sudden, sick feeling in his gut. All thoughts of leaving for Makai fled very suddenly and left an indistinct, untraceable sort of panic.

He guessed he must have left then—everything sort of slid out of focus again after he had been told the news. All he could recall was trying to pin down the feeling he had gotten when he had been told Shiori's seemingly inevitable fate.

And then he had met Hiei, who for some reason confused him more than anything else that had happened tonight.

**I'm only a man**

**In a funny red sheet.**

**I'm only a man**

**Looking for a dream.**

"He seemed trustworthy enough."

_That's because he's Yoko Kurama, you idiot. Of course he can act._

"But he could have killed me at any point when I was in his house, and he didn't."

_He could be planning something. He's Yoko Kurama._

"I know who he is! Stop telling me!" Hiei snapped, and the voice in his head fell silent, allowing him to think freely.

He had been in a state of terrible uncertainty since he had closed the door of the Minamono house behind him over two hours before. Since then he had done nothing but walk around noisy, confusing Tokyo, having the same circular argument with himself over and over again until he was struggling with all his might to control himself, his frustration, and his power.

He had thousands of questions, and no answers, and it annoyed him.

Kurama—Hiei truly had no idea what to call him, really, but that seemed best, for some reason—had seemed oddly interested in him, but _why_? What was he doing in the Ningenkai, and in a _human's_ body? What was behind his sudden disappearance from Makai ten years ago, and why hadn't he gone back? What had brought the heartbreak Hiei felt leaping off him? Why could Hiei not detect the deceit that Kurama was supposed to hold in abundance? Why had he offered to help Hiei with his mission if he had no ulterior motives? Should Hiei go back and reveal everything, or would that be a mistake? There was no denying that he could use help—he had no idea where to even begin—but what if he went back and found that the famous Yoko Kurama really _did_ just want his head on a silver platter?

And why—oh, why, why, _why_—must Kurama be so beautiful, even in human form?

**I'm only a man**

**In a funny red sheet,**

**And it's not easy,**

**Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm…**

Suuichi woke about an hour before dawn, and for a moment, he wasn't sure what had woken him. Then he heard soft noises down in the kitchen, the sound of someone who didn't want to be heard.

Alarmed, he sat up and scrambled out of bed. Without even bothering to grab a shirt, he pulled open the door to his room and ran down the hall. He took the steps two at a time and skidded into the kitchen, stopping short at the sight that met his eyes.

Hiei Jaganshi was sitting in his kitchen. Unlike the last time he had been in the house, he seemed to be trying to relax. His sword sheath had been removed from his hip, and was lying on the table. Hiei himself was seated in a chair, looking around with far more interest than before.

When he sensed Suuichi standing in the doorway, he turned quickly. His eyebrows went up when he took in the sight of the kitsune/human, clad only in a pair of black jeans that he had been too tired to change out of the night before. He was far more muscled than a ten-year-old should have been, and Hiei flushed slightly and looked away, speaking to the wall.

"I'm searching for my sister. And…I guess I could use some help."

There was a silence as Suuichi stared at Hiei and Hiei stared at the wall. Then Suuichi said, in a nonchalant, light voice that betrayed exactly none of his confusion, "I guess I should go put a shirt on, then."

**It's not easy to be me.**

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_Author's Note: Please, please, PLEASE review! I beg thee!_

_Oh, and also, thank you very much to all of you who assured me that my fic is not boring! You have no idea how much you all raised my self-esteem!_

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**Reviewers' comments**:

**Catie-brie**: Well, I didn't actually twist their meeting on purpose—I really don't know for sure how it went down—but I'm glad it was different! I didn't want it to be exactly like the show because who wants to read that? Anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too!

**Nikkler**: I always wondered what was going on in those freaky, beautiful heads…I don't know if this was what was going on in their minds, but it's how I imagine it. Thanks for the review!

**KyoHana**: Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Do you have any idea how much reviews like the one you sent for the last chapter mean to me? Because they mean…well, a lot. A whole, whole, _whole_ lot. Thanks so much!

**sil-kurama**: I don't want to give away everything, but one thing I _will_ tell you is that I will definitely not be killing Shiori in this story. I don't think I could do that. I like her too much, even though she was hardly in the show at all. Thanks for the review!

**Kooriya Yui**: Thanks for your review! I'm glad I didn't create a catastrophe…**ducks under table in case I made the sky fall**


	4. Strangers Like Me: Chapter 3

_DISCLAIMER: I own the plot. Period. See?_

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_Author's Note: I actually have a LEGITIMATE excuse for not posting quickly this time, and that excuse is one I think many of you can sympathize with: FINALS. The big Kahuna. I hate them and I wish them nothing but ill and disease and death and destruction, but I am forced to speak socially with them and not rip them into itty-bitty pieces and pop them in the garbage disposal, so I haven't had time to update in a REALLY long time! So sorry, but that's just the way it is! I hate me not updating more than anyone else possibly could, though, trust me…_

_Let me just take a moment to apologize for this chapter, though. I know some people won't like the fact that it's comprised mostly of flashbacks, but the idea just jumped into my head suddenly and wouldn't leave, so that's how it turned out. I'm sorry if that bugs some people, but I can't change it now, and really, I don't want to, because I like it. Even so, I'm sorry if it disappoints some of you guys!_

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Chapter 3

**Whatever you do,**

**I do it too.**

**Show me everything,**

**And tell me how.**

**It all means something**

**And yet nothing to me.**

Suuichi "Kurama" Minamono put down his pencil with a sigh, having just finished a very long essay for his college lit class. He laid the sheaf of papers aside and turned to his next assignment—five chapters in his Japanese history book.

He was about to pick up the enormous text when his hand just kind of fell back to the desk, completely unwilling to do anything else.

But he really should finish his homework tonight…he would regret not doing it tomorrow, when he was stuck inside on a Saturday instead of out in the crisp winter air.

Nevertheless, he found his mind wandering, and after a few moments' valiant attempt to restrain it, he resigned himself to the inevitable, propped his chin on his hand, and stared out his frosty window.

It was snowing, and the flakes falling gently outside were hypnotizing. Kurama—he had no idea how long he had been thinking of himself by that name, but it had started around the time he had met Hiei, he thought—stared out his window, thinking of nothing in particular.

"Suuichi, dear?"

Kurama dropped his hand and turned quickly as his mother opened the door to his room and stuck her head in. He smiled at her and said, "Yes, mother?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'm going to bed."

"Oh. All right. Well, good night, then."

"See you in the morning. And for heaven's sake, _stop doing homework for a while._"

Kurama turned slowly back to the window as Shiori closed the door softly, and this time, his mind, moved by the sight and voice of his mother, drifted back to a certain turning point in his life…

**I can see there's so much to learn.**

**It's all so close, and yet so far.**

**I see myself as people see me.**

**Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there.**

_+Flashback—Five years ago+ _

_Kurama hurried down the deserted road. His eyes did not move right or left, but rather fixed themselves firmly upon the sidewalk in front of him. In his hand was a small round mirror, with a golden chain at the top. His face was very pale, and his eyes were oddly bright, but his jaw was set with determination. Whatever he was doing terrified him, but he was going to do it anyway._

"_What're you doing, Kurama?"_

_Kurama stopped short, closed his eyes, and opened them very slowly. _Damn_. "Go back to my house, Hiei."_

_There was a long silence, and then Hiei spoke, softly. "I thought you said you weren't going to do it."_

_Kurama didn't turn around. He knew that if he saw Hiei there, watching him with big red eyes that would never again be quite as cold as they used to be, he could never be able to go through with this. After a moment, though, he said, "Hiei, you heard what you wanted to hear. I said that this was a last resort, and that I wouldn't do it until I had thought through every possibility. Nothing else. Well, I have exhausted every possibility, and I have reached the last resort." His hand tightened on the mirror, and his knuckles turned white. "I'm going to the hospital now."_

_Another silence. Then Hiei said, in a voice that was, shockingly, slightly pleading. "There's got to be another way. That's all there is to it."_

_Kurama felt himself smile and was surprised. "You're stubborn, Hiei. Well, so am I. I'm doing this."_

_And he kept walking. He didn't look back, but if he had he would have beheld Hiei, standing rigidly in the yellow circle of a nearby streetlight, his expression hooded and completely unreadable, but his small hands shaking very slightly._

—Later

_Kurama sat in the surgically clean hospital waiting room, his pale hands folded in his lap, a small smile on his lips, eyes glazed over, giving him a half-bewildered look. He sat unusually still, without the fidgets and worried mutterings that the other inhabitants of the room seemed to find solace in. He seemed completely content, a fact which caused the ones nearest him to glance over with questioning gazes and wonder why he was even there. He silence and stillness seemed to disturb them slightly._

_But Kurama noticed none of this. His body may have been sitting in the cold, unforgiving chair in the cold, unforgiving room, but his mind was far away, above the clouds, and his heart was light. He was free for the first time in years and no one had the slightest idea of it._

_He kept reliving the last hour in his mind, wanting to keep every detail fresh. He never, ever wanted to forget this night._

_He had not expected to be alive at this moment, while the doctors were telling his mother that she would go on living for a long, long time. He had taken the Mirror of the Forlorn Hope intending to strike a bargain with it—his life for his mother's. Indeed, he had planned on his own death. That had been why he'd decided to meet the black-haired Spirit Detective, Yusuke Urameshi, and tell him everything. He would not have done that, but for some reason he felt that someone should know why he had stolen the Mirror and caused so much trouble._

_He had not counted on Yusuke Urameshi being the kind of boy he was, however. He had not counted on him being the type of person to feel sympathy for someone he didn't even know. And he had certainly not counted on him trying to sacrifice his own life to make one who should have been an enemy happy. _

_Urameshi's voice kept flashing through his mind. "I've already seen that once and I never want to see it again." And then Urameshi had tried to get the Mirror to take his life instead of Kurama's, as payment for Shiori's health._

_Kurama did not know what had happened after that. He thought the mirror had said something about letting both himself and Yusuke live, but then he must have blacked out for a few minutes. And when he had woken up, he had run off without a second's thought for Urameshi._

_He would feel bad about that later, but right now his thoughts were crowded out by the knowledge that his mother was all right. Someone—and it would have to be admitted that that someone was mostly Urameshi—had saved her life…just when it was almost over._

_And because of that, because of the overwhelming rush of joy and gratitude he felt toward Urameshi, and the lifting of a long, long sorrow, Suuichi Kurama Minamono now truly knew what it meant to be human. _

_It was a lesson he would never forget._

_And later, when he met up with Hiei again, and Hiei actually couldn't hide his relief at seeing Kurama alive…well, he would know something else._

_But that would come later._

_+End Flashback+_

**I wanna know.**

**Can you show me?**

**I wanna know about these strangers like me.**

**Tell me more.**

**Please show me.**

**Something's familiar about these strangers like me.**

Hiei Jaganshi trudged slowly along the busy road toward Kurama's house. One watching him might have thought he was mentally unbalanced, for he was behaving very strangely indeed: ever ten steps or so he would shake his fist at the sky and mutter wrathfully under his breath, stopping as he did so; then he would wrap his arms around himself and continue at a half-run, before stopping again.

But really, all he was doing was cursing the weather. He did _not_ like the snow. It was way beyond _him_ why people like the Detective and the Fool—and even Kurama—_liked_ that frozen, white water so much.

Hiei really couldn't understand why he didn't like snow more. For though he was half fire demon, he also had the blood of the Ice People in his veins. His own sister, one of the dearest people in the world to him, simply adored the cold. So why couldn't he bring himself to even tolerate it, or like it just a little?

It was a mystery he just couldn't seem to solve. He had been trying for years.

But he wouldn't even _try_ tonight. At the thought of his sister, his mind, frantically seeking a distraction, any distraction or refuge, from the cold, drifted back…

**Every gesture,**

**Every move that you make**

**Makes me feel like never before.**

**Why do I have this growing need to be beside you?**

_+Flashback—Four and a half years ago—Rescuing Yukina+ _

"_Why am I playing messenger boy for the stupid little toddler?" Hiei groaned dismally, looking darkly at the unlabeled video tape in his hand._

"_Because," Kurama said patiently, "he didn't send you to Reikai jail when he could have."_

"_If I had known that meant a constant source of blackmail, I would have told him to lock me up." _

"_Hiei, why are you so worked up over this? It will take you thirty seconds to intercept Urameshi on his way to school. It's an easy job."_

_Hiei sighed heavily. "It's the _having_ to do it that's killing me! I don't want to be the brat's lapdog anymore." He held up the tape and examined it. "I wonder what's on this…"_

"_Don't even think of watching that tape, Hiei," Kurama said, rather too sharply._

_Hiei glared at him. "What's it to you?"_

_Kurama colored, obviously realizing that he had just gotten a little overexcited. "I just think you should keep out of it. We're almost home free! Don't complicate things with Koenma now, when we're so close to being free."_

_Rather than convincing Hiei, this statement only made him more sullen. "Speak for yourself. I'm no closer to freedom than I was six months ago." He gave another sigh, and held the tape up again, glaring at it as if it was personally responsible for the current state of affairs. "I guess I should get this to the Detective, then."_

_Kurama looked distinctly relieved. "Yes, do that. I'm headed off to the Reikai directly after school. I'll see you there later?" _

"_As if I have a choice." _

—Later

_Scarcely half an hour later, though, Hiei had forgotten entirely about Kurama, the Reikai, Koenma, Urameshi, and everything else he had been annoyed about. All of his focus was on one fact and one fact only: he had found his sister._

_He had accomplished what he had been working on for nearly six years._

_And he wasn't even happy about it. _

_Well, how could he be? She was being held captive. By a human. And he had a good idea of why, and that was what made him angriest._

_His thoughts seemed all jumbled up, like a building after an earthquake. As he stood there, clutching the tape, having just left the house of the humans whose VCR he had just used without permission, a few of his far-flung thoughts began to piece themselves together. _

_Kurama knew. He knew that Koenma had found Yukina, and he had known the contents of the tape, and he didn't tell Hiei, though he had promised to help him all that time ago, when the two of them had first met. He had betrayed Hiei, and broken his promise, and by all rights Hiei should have hated him for it._

_But he didn't. His mind was too filled to let one more thing in. He only felt a dim curiosity as to why Kurama hadn't said anything, and that was quickly pushed away by the next coherent thought: the Detective was going for Yukina._

_And with a little luck and a lot of stealth, so was Hiei._

_Smiling a little now, he flitted off to deliver the tape to Urameshi._

—The next day

"_And furthermore, you nearly killed a human. You knew he was human and you knew the consequences of your actions, and yet you did it anyway. Explain this to me, Hiei."_

_Hiei leaned comfortably against the wall farthest from the toddler prince, arms folded, meeting Koenma's gaze unflinchingly, looking utterly relaxed about the whole situation. Indeed, he looked rather pleased with himself._

"_He was torturing my sister," he said lazily, his mind not really on the conversation at all, but rather on the memory of the crunch of bone under his hand as he sank his fist into the jaw of the worthless, lazy, self-absorbed, flea-bitten bastard, the feeling of meeting his sister face-to-face for the first time, and how much he wanted to confess to her that he was her brother. His thoughts on this were really much more important than Koenma's injured pride._

_And then there was Yukina herself. Hiei didn't think he'd ever get over that._

_If someone had asked him what he imagined his sister to be like, he would have said he expected her to be just like the rest of her race—cold and cruel and unfeeling. But she had proved to be exactly the opposite. She had looked so…broken, when Hiei got there, so sad and hurt and frightened. There had been burns on her hands and she had cried many gems, suffering so at the hands of the human billionaire that her mind seemed devoid of all thought of escape and she couldn't have left the place on her own if someone had killed all the guards and held the door open for her. _

_And yet, when Hiei had tried to take revenge on the man who had committed the heinous crime, she had practically begged on bended knee that he let the man go. She had cried over his suffering and completely discarded her own. _

_He had complied with her wish, of course, but it would be a very long time before he understood the whys and wherefores thereof. _

_+End Flashback+ _

**Oh, these emotions I never knew,**

**Of some other world far beyond this place,**

**Beyond the trees, above the clouds,**

**I see before me a new horizon.**

_+Flashback—Three years ago—Dark Tournament—Kurama vs. Karasu+_

By _Kami_, he is hot!

"_Now really isn't the appropriate time to be thinking of that." _

Well, he is! Look at his eyes…and that hair…and the ears…

"_Shut up! He could still die!" _

Ha. Yeah. Right. He's in full demon form. Not likely. And you can't deny that he's hot!

"_Watch me. He's our friend, you moron, and I refuse to allow you to mess that up now."_

Oh, you know you like him. You're a perv. Get over it.

_On this note, Hiei shoved the voice in his head aside—the others were probably wondering why he was talking to himself, anyway, if they could spare any attention for him—and refused to let it speak again, fixing his mind on the fight, which, fortunately, was interesting enough to crowd out his thoughts._

_When Kurama had changed into his Yoko form, Hiei really had thought he had the battle won. With Kurama's energies spiking that high and the evil black haired crow Karasu's remaining exactly the same, the fight should have been in the bag. But while Hiei had been arguing with himself, the whole thing had taken a turn for the worse without his notice. At some point, Karasu's hair had turned yellow. Kurama had a gash in his cheek and his energy had lowered significantly. But he was still on his feet, at least._

_Not for long, though, as it turned out. Hiei had no sooner completed the thought than Yoko suddenly wasn't Yoko._

_Hiei wasn't sure what happened, exactly. One moment there was a battle going on and the next Kurama had been thrown into the wall of the ring._

_Hiei's heart skipped a beat, and then stopped altogether, and he nearly cried out. He felt Yusuke look at him, but he didn't see the unusual look in the Detective's eyes because his entire being was focused on the cloud of dust enveloping the spit where Kurama had hit._

_Then the dust cleared, and Hiei breathed again. Kurama was still standing. Well, okay, he was barely holding himself on his feet, and he was no longer in Yoko form, which made him considerably weaker, but he was up. That was something._

_Yusuke looked over again. Hiei would have killed him if he had the thought to spare, but as it was, he didn't, so he contented himself with staring at Kurama until he had managed to drag himself back into the ring again and then throwing Yusuke a death glare worthy of King Yama himself._

_The next few minutes seemed to last hours. Hiei felt a twinge of pain and a definite lurch in his stomach whenever Kurama was hit. Later he would analyze that feeling he barely recognized as fear for Kurama, but right now he just tried to ignore it._

_But it flooded him when Karasu surrounded Kurama with his invisible bombs. At that point, the rest of the world narrowed obligingly down to Kurama and the invisible circle around him. Hiei wanted to shout and scream and go pull Kurama out of there to safety, but he did nothing because that would have been showing vulnerability. So he just stood there and waited, for those endless moments while Kurama stood perfectly still, trying to decide with to do._

_He knew the decision Kurama had come to a split second before he went into action, and this time he actually opened his mouth to scream a warning, but too late._

_Kurama moved._

_The world went to slow motion. Hiei saw every drop of blood, every twist of Kurama's face, and felt like he was dying a thousand deaths. He certainly felt as if he was screaming, but no one was looking at him, so he must have only thought the screams._

_He didn't even see the end of the fight. He didn't see Kurama's amazing use of his blood-sucking plant or Karasu's painful death because his mind was full of Kurama's blood and pain._

_He didn't hear Yusuke's scream as Kurama fell to the ground, and lay still._

_+End Flashback+_

**I wanna know.**

**Can you show me?**

**I wanna know about these strangers like me.**

**Tell me more.**

**Please show me.**

**Something's familiar about these strangers like me.**

_+Flashback—Three years ago—Dark Tournament—Kurama vs. Karasu+_

_Things felt…strange to Kurama. Some of his senses seemed dulled, but others seemed oddly sharpened. He couldn't make anything put even though his eyes were at least cracked open, but he thought he could hear every word from every person in the stadium. The commentary rang in his ears, shouting out that Karasu was down and so was he, but he didn't feel the slightest need to do anything to rectify the situation at the moment._

_But he had to. Had to get up. Yusuke's shouts pierced the loud hum of voices, and Kurama couldn't stand the thought of making his friends even more worried than they must already be. He didn't particularly want to move and risk feeling the pain that was, for the moment, nothing more than a dull ache. But his human nature wouldn't allow him to stay there and let everyone worry over him._

_He wasn't entirely sure how he ended up on his feet, but somehow, he did. And surprisingly, the pain didn't explode like he thought it would. Unfortunately, this was balanced out by a huge wave of dizziness, which caused him to completely miss the call as he fought to stay standing._

_And then Yusuke was there, and Kurama didn't have to worry about standing anymore. He leaned gratefully against his friend and allowed himself to be steered toward the edge of the ring._

_As Yusuke set him gently against the ring, Kurama managed to raise his head for a moment. He looked past Yusuke's concerned face, to one certain little fire demon, the only one in the stadium who wasn't booing or cheering, but absolutely silent. Hiei stared at him, eyes wide, looking more shocked than he ever had. He looked as if he was going to cry or laugh or be sick or fall down and die right on the grass in the narrow stadium or possibly all of them at once._

_Kurama wanted to get up, wanted to go over and do something. He wasn't sure what it was he wanted to do, except that it had to be something to get that look off Hiei's face. He felt a most peculiar sensation at the knowledge that he had scared Hiei, a feeling rather different than the one he got when he thought of frightening Yusuke, Kuwabara and the others, and he wanted to do something about it._

_But all he ended up doing was smiling at Hiei as reassuringly as he could, before his head fell back against the wall he was leaning against and he fell into comfortable darkness._

_But why did that darkness keep showing him Hiei's face?_

_How puzzling…_

_+End Flashback+_

**Come with me now to see my world,**

**Where there's beauty beyond your dreams.**

**Can you feel the things I feel right now, with you?**

**Take my hand.**

**There's a world I need to know.**

"Almost there…almost there…almost there," Hiei muttered, speeding up as he turned onto Kurama's street. He had no trouble keeping a fast pace this time, because he had the warmth of Kurama's room to look forward to.

As he half-jogged along the street, Hiei tried to remember how he had ended up here in the first place. He had been perfectly comfortable curled up in the branches of one of the evergreen trees in the park. It was _warm_ up there, with all the leaves to shield him from the cutting wind. Of course, the needles and cones had caused a bit of discomfort, but Hiei could deal with _that_ easily enough. Why did he leave that tree? What was with the sudden overwhelming urge to go to Kurama's house?

_You know why, you idiot. Stop being so clueless, it's annoying._

"Shut _up_," Hiei growled to the voice in his head. "I am _tired_ of your _existence_!"

_Well, you can't do anything about it now, can you?_

"Stop laughing at me! Okay, fine, so I _do_ know why I want to see him so much! But _I don't care! I will not to anything about it! SO SHUT UP ALREADY!_"

The voice in his head grumbled and fell silent, and Hiei forced it to stay that way as he finally, finally, _finally_ turned into Kurama's driveway and went around the side of the house to the tree outside Kurama's window.

**I wanna know.**

**Can you show me?**

**I wanna know about these strangers like me.**

**Tell me more.**

**Please show me.**

**Something's familiar about these strangers like me.**

Kurama sighed heavily as a branch tapped against his window, rousing him from his daydreams. He had been thinking back to the Dark Tournament—why, he did not know—and while those memories were anything but pleasant, he did like remembering the old days, and he had not been able to do that in a very long time.

The tapping continued, more insistent this time, and Kurama sighed and turned to the window, thinking vaguely of using his energies to soothe the tree and still it.

What he ended up doing instead was leaping to his feet with a surprised cry and rushing to open the window. He helped a shivering, frozen Hiei into the room, all the time giving rushed apologies and inquiries.

"Why did you lock the window, fox?!" Hiei demanded, wrapping his arms around himself in an unusual show of vulnerability.

Kurama couldn't suppress a smile at Hiei's nickname for him, but his amusement was quickly dashed by a wave of guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Hiei," he apologized. "I never dreamed you'd show up in this weather, so I locked the window."

"You _never_ lock the window, though."

_Only because I always hope you'll be coming_.

"I do sometimes." With that, Kurama pointed to the bed and said, "Sit. Warm up. What're you doing here, anyway?"

Hiei shrugged. "I just…felt like coming."

But something in his eyes said quite differently, and that something caused Kurama to blush slightly and look away. "Hey, are you hungry? Mother has food downstairs."

Hiei just shook his head, and Kurama shrugged. "All right, then. But _I'm_ going to eat." He could tell Hiei was hungry, and this ploy usually worked, he had found out. Hiei nodded, and Kurama said, "I'll be back in a minute, then."

Down in the kitchen, Kurama put a couple of sandwiches, chips, chocolate and sodas onto a tray, and tried to calm his racing heart. He found himself doing that last part a lot when he was around Hiei…and he didn't exactly hate it, either.

He wasn't precisely sure when he had began to fall whole-heartedly in love with the little fire demon. Things had started off friendly enough seven years ago, and at first that was exactly what Hiei and Kurama were: friends.

Well, on Kurama's part, anyway. It had taken a lot of effort to win Hiei's trust. Kurama had fought tooth and nail for _that_. Well did he remember slowly wearing Hiei down with offers of food, talk, and constant company, feeding Hiei's extremely well-hidden starvation for affection so subtly that Hiei never even realized he was doing it.

It had taken almost two weeks for Hiei to even except food freely from Kurama, and much longer than that to get him to start talking in multiple complete sentences. The day Hiei had actually uttered the complete phrase, "I'm _hungry_, isn't there anything to eat here?" had probably been one of the best days of Kurama's life. He hadn't been sure why at the time, but it was becoming steadily clearer to him.

And thus, his dilemma: whether or not to tell Hiei.

The idea was tempting enough, sure, and he was fairly certain that Hiei felt the same way and had for some time, which _did_ make him wildly happy at times, but…

The thing was, even if Hiei _had_ changed in the past ten years—and there was really very little doubt that he had—there were things about him that would stay eternally the same, barring some disaster or catastrophe. And one of those things was his tendency to shy away from any obvious show of love or fondness. He himself had no idea how much he wanted and needed these things, and that made him shy of them. If Kurama _did_ confess to him, the only thing that was likely to happen was Hiei's running away from it.

And Kurama really didn't think he could handle that. He couldn't lose Hiei's friendship because that had become more important to him than just about anything in the world, next to his mother's love.

Things were better this way. Kurama would just have to deal with Hiei's remaining his friend, and nothing more.

The mere _thought_ made his stomach lurch with disappointment and sadness, but he pushed the feelings away, reminding himself sharply that close friendship was at least _almost_ as good as love.

_Oh, Kami-sama, please give me the strength to keep on handling this…_

**I wanna know.**

* * *

_Author's Note: I know, I know, the ending to this chapter was absolutely crappy, but I honestly had no idea what to do! My mind just froze!_

_All right, I'm not sure exactly when I'll be able to update again. I'll work as hard as I can on the next chapter, but like I said, I have finals, and then Christmas, and then after that I'll be in North Carolina for almost ten days with NO computer access, but regardless of any of that, I will try very hard to get out a new chapter before Christmas. I hate updating so slowly, so you can honestly believe me when I tell you I will work until my brains ooze out my ears!_

_Okay, I think I've babbled on long enough. Please review!_

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**Reviewers' comments:**

**Catie-brie:** Aww, thanks so much! I'm surprised I _can_ keep them in character, in all honesty. I have the _hardest _time getting my characters to behave, and in all my stories before this one everyone's been majorly OOC. But I'm so glad to know that's not the case here!

**Deannamay**: I know, I hate that too. Trust isn't something that just _happens_, and neither is friendship. I had the hardest time making Hiei be so cold toward Kurama—all _he_ wanted to do was get his kiss—but I finally promised him ice cream if he shut up and let me write. I don't expect it to work for long, but for now, he's behaving pretty well. Thanks for the review!

**Nikkler**: Thanks so much! **huggles you back** Were you all right with the flashbacks, and showing Hiei's feelings that way? I hope so…I really don't want to disappoint…

**Shadowbright**: Yay! I'm not boring and unoriginal! **extremely relieved on that point** Actually, I may be, because all I'm doing right now is rewriting some parts of the series and changing things I didn't like…but hey, I'm here to please the readers, so I'm glad I did my job!

**KyoHana**: Thanks so much! Yours was definitely my most gratifying review. I love the fact that I give at least one person something to look forward to, even if I _do_ take forever to update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too!

**sil-kurama**: Thanks for your review! Well, I think I answered all of your questions! Um…didn't I? Well, even if I didn't, just let me know and I'll answer 'em in the next chapter! Also, if you found anything unclear, drop me a line and I'll try to clear things up for ya.

**Chocolate Cheese Queen**: Thanks for the review! And in compliance with your not-so-subtle hint, here's a nice long chapter for ya!


	5. You'll Be In My Heart: Conclusion

_DISCLAIMER: I own the plot. Saying what I do not own makes me sad. That is all._

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_Author's Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE, READERS! I made this chapter nice and long as a Christmas gift to all of you, because it may take me two weeks or more for me to get back to my computer again._

_Hope you all enjoy the chapter, and have a happy holiday!_

* * *

**Come stop your crying.**

**It'll be all right.**

**Just take my hand.**

**Hold it tight.**

**I will protect you**

**From all around you.**

**I will be here.**

**Don't you cry.**

"Stab it, you idiot!"

Hiei glared at Mukuro and darted off to the right of the huge B-class demon the two of them were fighting. "You know," he said, not even breathing hard as he opened another gash in one of the demon's many legs, "I don't see why we're _both_ fighting this thing. One of us could have easily taken it. But instead you drag me out of Tokyo and back here to help you patrol your borders, when _this_ is the most difficult thing we can expect." He cut the leg off, and there were only…nine more to go.

"I told you," Mukuro told him impatiently, working on cutting off another leg from the front of the demon as it roared its rage and tried to stomp her into the ground. "You're going to be getting all of this at some point, so you need to learn this stuff. Besides…" She hacked viciously at the thing, barely succeeded in making a dent, and practically screamed in frustration. "That poison is really slowing me down. _How_ someone managed to get it into my food I will _never _know, but the point is, it makes me weak, and I hate admitting it, but that's why you're here: to help me. So stop complaining and get your a—oh…"

**For one so small,**

**You seem so strong.**

**My arms will hold you,**

**Keep you safe and warm.**

**This bond between us**

**Can't be broken.**

**I will be here.**

**Don't you cry.**

"So when will you be getting back?" Kurama asked, watching from his bed as Hiei finished the plate of food Kurama had forced on him and got up out of the chair next to Kurama's desk.

"I don't know," Hiei replied, walking over to hand the plate to Kurama after picking off every crumb. (For someone who insisted that he wasn't ever hungry, he could sure pack it away.) "Probably not for a while. Mukuro's…she's not doing well, and she needs me on hand." His voice was determinedly light and airy, made to sound as if this was all nothing except a mild pain in his neck. "She's really milking this for all it's worth, you know, and—"

"I'm not falling for it, Hiei," Kurama said quietly, as Hiei turned and reached out a hand to open the window. Hiei froze with his hand on the latch, and Kurama continued. "You're worried about her, I know. And you're scared."

Hiei said nothing, but the muscles in his shoulders went tight and his hand curled itself into a fist.

"Hiei, she's going to be all right. You said yourself that she's tough. She already survived a deadly poison that would have killed nine of ten people, so this should be a snap for her. You watch, she'll be up and around in no time, yelling about how you let things go to hell while she was down, and—"

But Hiei was shaking his head. "No, fox…no. Not this time."

And then he had hitched a tiny smile on his face, said, "I'd better go or she'll make me stay extra time for being late," and flitted off through Kurama's window, leaving no sign that he was there except the curtains rustling as if from a light breeze.

'**Cause you'll be in my heart.**

**Yes, you'll be in my heart.**

**From this day on,**

**Now and forever more.**

**You'll be in my heart,**

**No matter what they say,**

**You'll be here in my heart,**

**Always.**

"Hey, Mukuro," Hiei greeted in his usual doom-and-gloom-with-a-pinch-of-humor tone.

"You're late," Mukuro grumbled, trying to sound angry and only succeeding in sounding weak. "I told you to be here before dawn, and it's now nearly noon. The border patrol is completely out of hand and everyone's treating me like an invalid and I am on the verge of a major mass murder."

These comments, which would normally make Hiei suppress a laugh and reply in a very sarcastic-bordering-on-insubordination way, just caused a fairly annoying ache in his chest, right where his heart probably should have been but wasn't anymore because he was about to lose someone else.

"Well, why don't you, then? You've always said they do nothing but mess things up, anyway," Hiei said, still standing in the doorway, praying that he would soon be sent off to do something so that he could get away from the death he could feel growing ever closer to this room, to the once so strong person now lying in bed, unable to even stand upright because of a huge gaping hole in her stomach that _nothing_ could seem to repair and that was getting worse every day.

Hiei had spent the last two weeks trying to banish the images of Mukuro's last fight from his head. She had been in the middle of yelling at him, when the demon they had been fighting had gotten one good hit in at last. It had managed to pierce her stomach completely through, hitting arteries, blood vessels, bones, muscles—everything Mukuro required to live—along the way.

There really hadn't been much hope.

It didn't matter. Hiei didn't care that there was no point in trying to save her. She wasn't going to go out thinking he didn't care. He was determined that the last thing she would remember was that he had done everything he could to protect her.

Hiei jerked himself roughly, painfully, back to the present, and forced himself to listen to what Mukuro was saying.

"I've explained this, Hiei. It's all about _appearances_. Honestly, I don't know what will happen to this place if _you_ get hold of it…"

The "if" was clearly a "when," and Mukuro could clearly sense that Hiei could clearly sense that "when" approaching quickly.

Hiei felt his heart racing, and tried to calm himself. "It'll get much better, of course. Now why did you ask me here if we were just gonna make small talk? I'm going to patrol," he said, injecting false annoyance into his voice to mask his other emotions.

As he turned to go, Mukuro spoke behind him, and her voice was barely a whisper. "Don't ever change, Hiei."

Hiei stopped for a moment, and then continued walking without giving any sign that he had heard. That was what she wanted, he knew—for him to pretend she hadn't said anything so that she could pretend the same.

Death would be upon her soon.

**Why can't they understand the way we feel?**

**They just don't trust what they can't explain.**

**I know we're different, but deep inside us,**

**We're not that different at all.**

Kurama lay on his bed, body stretched to its fullest extent, completely still, staring at the ceiling. He was trying to empty his mind and think of absolutely nothing, and succeeding pretty well, on the whole. But once in a while, a thought would move sluggishly through his mind, and when that happened, he would twitch involuntarily, and his eyes would dart to his window for no apparent reason.

Hiei had only been gone for five days, not even half the time he had expected to be, so there was no reason to worry. But Kurama had been feeling that something was wrong for days now. It was nothing more than a vague, untraceable conception brought on by kitsune instincts, but Kurama happened to trust those instincts whole-heartedly, and if they told him that something wasn't right, then it was the truth.

That was all there was to it.

And yet, though Kurama knew that while what was wrong certainly had a lot to do with Hiei, he also knew that it was not because he was physically hurt, which was the only reason Kurama hadn't gone tearing off to Makai days ago.

But that could only mean one thing.

And knowing that one thing had Kurama perhaps _more_ worried about Hiei, rather than less.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft tapping on the window, and then the sound of a sliding latch. He turned over on his side and then sat up, watching silently and without much surprise as Hiei climbed into the room.

He knew instantly that his hunch had been correct. All he had to do was give Hiei half a glance.

The little demon looked literally ready to drop dead where he stood. He had dark circles under his eyes, which told how long it had been since he'd known sleep, and he was thinner than when he'd left, making him appear even smaller than usual. His skin was pale as death and his limbs seemed to shake. He seemed so worn and dispirited and…_dejected,_ in a way that he had never looked before. His eyes, as he gazed at Kurama, sent out a plea for help and solace and understanding that Kurama was willing to bet he didn't even know about.

It made Kurama's heart ache just _watching_ him.

After a few minutes, Hiei walked slowly over and sat on the bed next to Kurama, getting as close as he could without touching him and staring fixedly at the floor as if all the answers to life's questions could be found there. Kurama could feel his emotions flying in all directions, battling each other violently, and his worry rose. Hiei hadn't been this close to losing control over his power in _years_.

After a moment's fierce battle with himself, Kurama reached over, and took Hiei's hand. Hiei didn't even put up a pretense of pulling away, but rather clung so tightly to that little bit of sanity that Kurama would have thought his hand were going to fall off if he wasn't so concerned with other matters.

Now, if this surprised Kurama—and it did, rather a lot—the kitsune nearly dropped dead of shock when Hiei scooted closer to him and wrapped his small arms around his waist, laying his head against Kurama's shoulder in an unbelievable show of vulnerability. Kurama, not about to lose this moment when it had finally turned up, gathered Hiei to him in a tight hug, maneuvering both of them so that Kurama's back was against the headboard and Hiei was leaning against his side.

They sat that way, in companionable, comforting, understanding silence until well after the sun crested over the horizon.

**And you'll be in my heart.**

**Yes, you'll be in my heart**

**From this day on,**

**Now and forever more.**

"Where is he?"

Kurama smiled wearily at his friend's greeting when he opened the front door to his house. "Hello, Yusuke."

"Where is he?" Yusuke repeated, stepping inside and looking around. "He's here, isn't he?"

"I suppose you mean Hiei."

"_Yes_, you idiot, who else?"

"I assume you know, then?"

Yusuke sighed, and nodded. "Yeah. I got the news from Koenma. Apparently it actually _happened_ about four days ago."

Kurama nodded, but didn't say anything except, "He got here around two in the morning and passed out at around six. He's up in my room, still asleep. Good thing, too, he doesn't look as if he's slept since it happened…" As he spoke, Kurama led Yusuke into the kitchen, and busied himself filling the coffee pot.

Yusuke sat down at the table. "So…how is he?"

Kurama put the filled pot in the coffee maker, filled it, pressed the button, and turned back to Yusuke. "Oh, he's…Hiei. He won't talk about it and he just sat and stared at the floor or my comforter all night so I couldn't see his eyes and tell how he's really feeling." He left out the part where he held Hiei for hours until he fell asleep—he wasn't about to humiliate his beloved little firecracker like that.

But even aside from trying to take care of Hiei without letting the latter know he _was_ being taken care of, Kurama had another problem.

The night before, when Hiei had shown up at his window, and then for the rest of the night after that, Kurama had been too concerned to think about anything else, but now that Hiei was safely asleep, the realization was creeping up on him—last night's events had done _nothing_ to curb his feelings for the Jaganshi. In fact, having Hiei that close to him for so long had only made him spiral deeper into love, and now he felt that if he didn't say _something_ to _someone_—_anyone_—he would burst open completely.

It didn't really matter to him at the moment who he told or what their reaction was, as long as they were willing to keep his secret.

"Yusuke, I have to tell you something."

"Um…okay…shoot," Yusuke said. "From the way you sound you've been holding something in for a while…"

Kurama sat down at the table and drummed his fingers nervously on the table, and was silent for a few moments. Then he said, "I think I'm in love with Hiei."

There. It was quick, it was direct, it was clear, and it said exactly what he'd been longing to say. Now all that remained was to gauge Yusuke's reaction to figure out whether or not he was leaving the country for the rest of his life.

Yusuke didn't say anything for a long time, and Kurama could tell he was trying to make sense of this. What he couldn't tell was whether Yusuke was disgusted, happy, repulsed, angry, or just confused.

"So…you're…?" Yusuke finally said. "You're…gay?"

Kurama just nodded, beginning to wonder what on earth he'd gotten himself into.

"And Hiei…?"

"I don't know for sure whether he is or not. I think he might be, but…I'm just not sure anymore."

"Well, why don't you ask him?" Yusuke asked simply.

Kurama gaped at him. "Well…because…I mean…you…you aren't…why haven't you…?"

Yusuke grinned so suddenly that it was rather alarming. "Run out of the house screaming about Gay Pride Disease?"

"Not the way I would have put it, but…yes," Kurama said, rather weakly.

"It's simple. You're my _friend_, Kurama. I've had a couple gay—um, I guess 'friends' could describe it, though they were more _allies _that anything—in my time and I never cared a bit. You aren't any different from anyone else. I'm not about to bail on you just because of something like that, and if you thought I would…or Kuwabara would…or Shizuru or Yukina or anyone else in this crazy gang of ours would, you're finally turning into the idiot _I_ think you were always destined to be."

Kurama didn't know what to say to this, so he didn't say anything, and instead got up to get Yusuke perhaps a bigger mug of coffee than he otherwise would have. As he did, Yusuke spoke to his back.

"So does Hiei know?"

"I don't think so. And I don't want him to either, Yusuke."

"Why not?"

Kurama turned back around and handed Yusuke his coffee, then sipped his own, trying to think how to explain himself.

"Yusuke, when Hiei first came to the Ningenkai ten years ago, he was…in bad shape. He was sad, and lonely, and angry, and so full of pain that he couldn't even recognize his emotions for what they were. He had lost so much, so many things that he should have had. In place of love he had only hatred and a desire for revenge, and where there should have been family and friends all he knew were enemies. He was nearly at the point of no return—that point when you just decide to give up living and just _exist_. He had forgotten what the words _hope_, and _friendship_, and _happiness_ meant. He was even worse off than most demons are compared to humans. I worked so hard, and so long, to win him over—to gain his trust, and his friendship, and to rebuild all that had been destroyed over the years. And if I told him how I feel…what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he's…I don't know…_repulsed_ by things like that? And even if he _is_ gay, and _can_ feel the same way about me as I feel about him, you _know_ him, Yusuke. You _know_ he wouldn't be able to trust it. He'd run, I know he would. I don't want to lose him—I _can't_ lose him. It's a risk I just…don't think I can take."

By the time Kurama had finished, Yusuke had emptied his mug, and as Kurama fell silent he got up to fill it again. "You know," he said as he poured the coffee, "I think you should tell him."

Kurama's mouth dropped open, but he recovered himself quickly. "Have you been _listening_ to what I've been telling you?"

"Yes, I have. And I understand. I just don't happen to _agree_." Yusuke came back to sit at the table and this time emptied a lot of sugar into his coffee. "Look, what if you're wrong about all this? What if Hiei _does_ feel the same, but _he's_ scared of the same things _you_ are? I mean, say you do tell him, and it turns out he's just been waiting for _you_ to say it or something. You could find out that while you've been hanging around not wanting to jeopardize anything, you've been missing out on something so much _better_."

There was another silence, and then Kurama asked, "When did you become so wise, anyway?"

Yusuke laughed. "Believe me, I resisted, but I've found that if you hang around a certain kitsune we both know for too long he starts rubbing off on you. And now, no matter what I do to prevent it, I find myself giving good advice once in a while. Scares the hell outta me…"

Kurama laughed briefly, but then he said, "I-I'm afraid, Yusuke."

Yusuke's face softened. "I know. But some things are worth the risk, and I firmly believe that this is one of them."

Kurama looked down into his cup and watched his reflection on the black liquid surface. He was shocked at how tired he himself looked; he hadn't gotten any sleep at all the night before. But he didn't _feel_ tired…

"Well," Yusuke said softly, pushing his empty mug away from him and shoving his chair away from the table, "I'm gonna go, I guess. And don't…tell Hiei I was here, okay?"

Kurama smiled slightly. He understood what Yusuke meant. If Hiei thought that Yusuke or anyone else pitied him, then things would _not_ be good. "I promise. If _you_ promise _me_ that you won't say anything to him about…what we talked about."

Yusuke nodded reluctantly, and turned to leave.

"And Yusuke?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

**Don't listen to them,**

'**Cause what do they know?**

**We need each other,**

**To have, to hold.**

**They'll see in time.**

**I know.**

Two weeks later 

"So why do you think Koenma called us here and not Yusuke?" Kurama asked, looking out of the corner of his eye at Hiei, who was walking with him along the lengthy hallway that led to Prince Koenma's office in the Reikai.

Hiei merely shrugged.

Kurama faced forward again, feeling his stomach drop unpleasantly. Hiei had been unusually cool toward him since that night after Mukuro died, and Kurama didn't know what to do. The thought that Hiei might be mad at him, or humiliated by him, was more than he could stand, but the one time he had tried to talk to Hiei about it all that he had achieved was to make things worse, it seemed. Hiei had hardly spoken a full sentence to him since. Kurama tried to make polite conversation the few times he and Hiei saw each other—for Hiei never came to Kurama's room at night anymore, which made Kurama want to cry whenever he thought about it—but Hiei always answered him in cool, two-or-three-word replies.

Kurama breathed a tiny sigh of relief when they reached the large double doors to Koenma's office. He hated being alone with Hiei nowadays, and he hated that he hated it. But he was about at the end of his rope where Hiei was concerned, and the only way that things improved even slightly was when there were others around, because at least then Kurama had someone else to focus on, someone who actually still liked him.

Koenma was sitting at his desk when the two walked in. He was in his toddler form, and was, as usual, stamping huge stacks of papers. He looked up when the door closed behind Kurama, and put down his inkpad. (You know, the one with the ponies on it.)

"Hello, Kurama. Hiei."

Kurama nodded and responded politely, but Hiei just walked over to the wall and leaned against it in his usual overly relaxed pose without a word. Koenma gave him a slightly sad look, and then turned to Kurama.

"I called you two here because I have an assignment for you."

Kurama nodded when he paused to look at Hiei again, and waited patiently for him to continue. He had a good idea of what this was about.

"I'm only asking you to do it because Yusuke and Kuwabara have still got their finals, unlike you, and they're busy. They don't like the fact they you're going and they aren't, but there isn't anything _I_ can do about that. I have power but I can _not_ change their finals schedule to suit me, though I wish to the heavens I could. Anyway, it's a relatively easy job—B-class demon, plant controlling like you, Kurama, and it's kill, not capture, this time. Working together, you should be able to pull it off relatively easily. The only reason I'm bothering at all is because this thing has the _potential_ to be dangerous and I don't want that to turn into something more. I want you to go today if at all possible."

Kurama glanced briefly at Hiei, whose face was impassive, and felt a spark of annoyance that surprised him. _Well, he had his chance to decline. _"Of course we can go today. We'll leave right now."

"Excellent!" Koenma said, picking up his stamp pad. "You can go then. You'll mostly likely find the demon hanging out in the thickest part of the Eastern Forest of Makai. It'll want plenty of plants around, obviously. I'll have someone bring up a portal that will take you straight to the forest, but you'll have to walk the rest of the way and mask your ki to avoid alerting the thing too early, because it _could_ be dangerous if it had time to prepare. Oh…Kurama, could you hang back here for a second?"

So Hiei left without a word, and Kurama approached the desk again. "Kurama…" Koenma began, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Listen, I realize that you could do this job on your own. It would be more difficult, but you could do it. So could Hiei, for that matter—or he _should_ be able to. But…"

"But you're not sure if he can."

"Exactly," Koenma said, sounding rather relieved that Kurama had grasped the fact so quickly. "So if you could just…"

"Watch him?"

"Yes, _exactly_. And just make sure he can still do the job. You know, make sure his fighting is still up to par. He's seemed…off…since Mukuro. We need him on our side and we need his abilities intact, so _please_ try to get him back to normal again. _Whatever it takes._"

Koenma gave him a _look_ then, a look that made Kurama sure that they were now talking about something he didn't quite understand.

"Will do," Kurama said, wondering uneasily exactly how he was going to do that when Hiei seemed to have more problems with _him_ than he did with anyone else.

**When destiny calls you,**

**You must be strong.**

**I may not be with you,**

**But you've got to hold on.**

**They'll see in time.**

**I know.**

**We'll show them together.**

_Well this is unbelievably awkward_, Kurama thought unhappily as he and Hiei made their way through Makai's Eastern Forest, with Kurama gently moving the brambles, tree branches, roots, and other obstacles out of the way with his ki. Hiei had not said one word since they got here, despite Kurama's admittedly pathetic attempts at conversation. He simply nodded or shook his head even when Kurama didn't ask a yes or no question, and concentrated a bit too hard on walking and tracking their target's ki signature, which was so painfully obvious that Kurama could follow it easily and was still able to carry on this conversation with himself.

_I will be _so happy_ when we finally get to something we can kill_…

_That_ thought was so savage that for a moment Kurama wondered if it was actually Yoko who had thought it. But it wasn't—Kurama was just annoyed. He couldn't figure out what he was unhappy with, though, which bugged him even more, and so he was in a rather foul mood when they finally got near enough to see their mark.

He wasn't big—only about six inches taller than Kurama—but what he lacked in size he made up for in strength, apparently. He had well-muscled arms and legs, and Kurama could already tell he was agile from the way he stood.

And he was waiting for them. That much was obvious. He already had a bright gold shield of energy around him. He was in a fighting stance and looked utterly at ease in such a position, which meant that he had been through many fights before. But there was only one scar, a long one stretching from the middle of his forehead, and looping down around his left eye to the corner of his mouth. So he was also a good fighter.

And from the amount of power that was emanating from him, he _had_ been masking his ki…

_Damn._

**'Cause you'll be in my heart.**

**Believe me, you'll be in my heart.**

**I'll be there from this day on,**

**Now and forever more.**

"This is going to be tough."

Kurama jumped in surprise and jerked his head to look at Hiei, who had finally uttered a complete sentence. Hiei was finally looking at him again—he hadn't done that in two weeks, either—but Kurama felt no joy in that. Hiei's face was _empty_—no expression at all. His eyes were just—_dead_. Kurama felt tears try to spring to his eyes, but he held them back in the face of more important matters.

"Yes, it is. But we can do it. We've worked stuff like this before." _Though…maybe not under such circumstances…_

Hiei shrugged. "Let's go, then."

And before Kurama could say a word, before he could think up an actual strategy, which was _always_ the way it worked—before now—Hiei had stepped out from their protective cover, unsheathing his sword as he did so.

The demon they were facing did not move when he saw Hiei, or when Kurama reluctantly followed him. He didn't speak, either. The only sign that he noticed them at all, in fact, was that the trees around them actually grew closer together, blocking any escape route.

He was powerful.

More so than Kurama.

But more so then Kurama _and_ Hiei?

Never.

Kurama felt a smile spread across his face, and he turned to Hiei and said, "Come on. Let's kick some ass."

Hiei didn't respond with his usual tiny fanged grin. Instead, he just held his blade up and prepared for the fight, without even glancing at his once-friend.

Kurama wasn't really sure what happened then. He didn't know who moved first—was it him? Hiei? Or the other demon?—or what attack they used. All he knew was that one moment he was staring at the demon, and the next his own Rose Whip was out and he was in the fight of his life.

The next fifteen minutes were both the longest and shortest of Kurama's life. He knew only flashes of green light as he attacked, flashes of black as Hiei attacked, and then golden flashes that belonged to the other demon. Then he knew the pain of a cut on his shoulder—then a gash in his thigh—and then in his side—none fatal, but all painful. He wasn't even able to look to see how Hiei was faring, but the latter's ki pulsed strongly, so Kurama was reassured for the time being.

He soon realized that this was shaping up to be one of the most difficult fights he'd ever partaken in. He was already tiring, when under other circumstances that would have taken at least half an hour of hard fighting. And the other demon didn't even seem to have broken a sweat, judging from the way his blows kept falling. So all in all, he didn't have a whole lot of time for private thoughts.

One idea kept creeping into his mind, though. _Did Koenma know about this?_

And then, very closely following, _He _couldn't_ have! He wouldn't _do_ that! There's no way!_

But the notion grew steadily more persistent as the fight went on, stretching from fifteen minutes to half an hour to an hour.

Because there was no way Koenma could have made such an incredible mistake judging the demon's power. There was just no way. His power was _unbelievable._ Kurama was astonished that other demons couldn't feel it all over Makai.

Then again, they probably could.

But if Koenma had _known_ how powerful this demon was, why send he and Hiei there alone? That was _way_ too dangerous a gamble for Koenma to take with the lives of two of his team members. It was improbable—impossible—and Kurama couldn't suppose it could be true.

And yet…

He was forced to suppose it.

_But why_!

And that…was the last coherent thought Kurama had.

He had been so busy puzzling things out that he had actually forgotten for a moment to pay attention to the fight.

And that moment was all that the demon needed. He seized the chance with vigor, and the next second Kurama found himself on the ground in more pain than he ever thought he could hold, with no idea of how he had gotten there.

The next few minutes seemed to last days—months—years—millennia. Kurama had no idea how long it actually was. All he knew was that he _hurt_, and he was cold, and things kept blurring and graying in a most annoying fashion. He kept trying to get up, but it was the strangest thing—his body _would not_ move. His muscles wouldn't even consent to _twitch_. He was absolutely immobile, unable to see anything, or understand what was going on.

_Why was he here? He should…be at school…he had a biology test today…no…no, he didn't…he wasn't in high school anymore…he was in college…so he should be taking finals…no, finals were over…but why was he _here_? He shouldn't have been…this shouldn't have happened…he wasn't sure why, but he knew this shouldn't have happened…_

"Kurama?"

The word was said so quietly, so gently, so tenderly, that for a moment Kurama didn't know that it was Hiei who had spoken. But then his face swam into view, and Kurama forgot his pain.

"Kurama…" Hiei breathed, and his voice was still unrecognizable in its softness. Kurama couldn't understand what could make Hiei speak like that.

"What…happened?" Kurama gasped, and his voice hardly sounded like his own—hoarse and rough and not at all him. _Why…?_

"Y-you…he…I'm so sorry…I was too…I didn't…you're going to be all right, Kurama…you will…"

The words caused a whole other level of confusion for a moment, but then suddenly Kurama knew.

He had been hit.

It had been fatal.

_And I'm dying._

It was strange…strange how _easy _those words were to think. The only things he really _felt_ about his own death was a slight sadness that he had never solved things with Hiei and confusion over why Koenma had sent them here in the first place. They were both fighting in his mind for first place in the worry department, and he was already so cold and tired that he didn't have the energy to sort them out.

And then, quite suddenly, everything fell into place. His conversation with Koenma flashed through his mind.

_We need him on our side and we need his abilities intact…get him back to normal…_whatever it takes…

T_his_ was why they had come here…_this_ was why Kurama was now lying here. Kurama was the expendable one, had _always_ been the expendable one…and now he needed to be expended…he had to die, so that Hiei could comprehend how much he was _needed_, how vital it was that he remain lucid and able to fight and be the protector. He had to lose one precious thing so that he could know what it felt like, so that he would become determined not to lose even one more thing.

To know this, he had to feel the worst pain imaginable—the death of the one he loved most of all.

Because Kurama knew now that Hiei loved him. There was no doubt about it anymore. The stricken look on Hiei's face and the never-before-seen tears that fell from his eyes and hardened into gems—so deeply red they were practically black—as he pulled Kurama half into his lap and slid his arms around him, holding him as tightly as he could, attested to that fact in a way that nothing else could. He had been too afraid to say it—like Kurama—but he had _felt_ it. And that was enough.

Kurama smiled, and there was a little sadness in it, but not as much as one might expect. "Hiei, shh…shh…it's all going to be all right…" He reached up and carefully traced the tear tracks on Hiei's face, and his limbs weren't as difficult to move now. "It doesn't hurt…"

And it didn't…he felt almost no pain now.

"Don't cry…I can't stand to see you cry…"

Hiei took his hand in a gentle, firm grip, as if by doing that he could stave off that evil whose name is death. "Kurama…"

"Hush, now. It's all right. I'm okay. And I finally understand…I understand things I never would have known otherwise. And…and you'll be all right, too, you know…" His voice faded, but he struggled to keep on talking. It was important that Hiei hear this…"Hiei, listen to me. You have to go back to the Ningenkai. You have to find Yusuke and Kuwabara, and then you have to find Koenma, and you have to tell them what happened. Tell him _everything_. And tell him…tell him I understand, and that I'm okay. And…tell him thanks for me…"

He could barely breathe now, but that was okay, because he was almost finished.

"And Hiei…you have to promise me something."

"Kurama, stop talking like this…you're going to be _fine…_"

"No, Hiei. I don't have much time, so stop talking and _listen_ to me."

Hiei fell silent, looking absolutely horrified at the direction this was heading.

"Thank you. Now, Hiei, this is what you have to promise me: that from now on, you'll _live_. Not just _exist_, like you've been doing since Mukuro died, or the way you did before you came to the Ningenkai. Really, truly, _live_…and help the others live too…because I can't…promise me…"

"Kurama—"

"_Promise me_."

Hiei was crying again, and his wracking sobs almost made Kurama rethink this whole dying thing.

But he really didn't have a choice in the matter, so he did the only thing he could—he tightened his grip on Hiei's hand for as long as he could manage, and smiled up at him as reassuringly as he could.

"And…and don't forget…to tell Koenma…what I said."

**Oh, you'll be in my heart,**

**No matter what they say.**

**You'll be here in my heart,**

**Always.**

**Always.**

Hiei was never sure exactly how he got back to the Ningenkai. The whole time he was walking he couldn't actually see anything that was in front of him or around him. He couldn't hear or feel or think beyond this terrible, horrible, roaring _pain_, a thousand times worse than anything he had ever felt.

When the thieves had thrown him out, he had thought it was the most terrible thing that would ever happen.

When he found out Yukina was being tortured, he decided that, no, _that_ was the most terrible thing that would ever happen.

When he had seen Kurama nearly die in the Dark Tournament, he found something even worse.

When Mukuro had died, Hiei had thought he would never be happy again.

But all those things paled in comparison to what he was feeling right now.

_It was the end of the world._ The end of _everything_. Friendship, trust, love…they would never exist again.

And the worst of it was Hiei felt no desire for revenge. He didn't want to do the thing that had always granted him some sort of solace—he didn't want to kill. Kurama's words kept flashing through his mind—"_really, truly, live…and help the others live too…because I can't…"_ Kurama had hated killing, ever since he had become human. He hadn't ever done it unless he had to, and Hiei suddenly felt that killing for no other reason than to destroy would be forsaking Kurama's precious memory.

And Hiei would _never_ do that.

And he would keep his promise. From now on, he was going to _live_. He was going to do what Kurama couldn't.

**Always.**

**I'll be with you.**

**I'll be there for you always.**

**Always and always.**

When Hiei stepped through the portal to the Ningenkai, he found himself only about a mile away from the college where Yusuke and Kuwabara would still be taking their finals.

_Has it really been that short a time? Hasn't it been years?_

Nevertheless, Hiei's internal clock, which was, incredibly, still working, told him that it was not yet noon, and so that was how he ended up heading to the college. Once there, it was an easy job for him to track their ki to the right classroom, and so he didn't think about it. He didn't think about his errand—what he was about to tell Yusuke and Kuwabara—or anything else, in fact. He kept his mind carefully blank in preparation for what was to come.

Hiei didn't even notice the looks he got as he walked along, but if he had—and had he been remotely like his old self at all—he would have found them comical. They were looks mixed with confusion, horror, fear, and disgust. Well, of course, all those looks made sense—he was this short little guy in a long flowing black cloak with a sword sheath on his hip, a bandage on his arm, and a white headband around his forehead, covered in dust and the blood of not one but two people, with the glazed look of someone completely disorientated, walking sedately along as if he belonged right there amid all the clean, somewhat-happy students caught in the finals grind.

As it was, Hiei noticed nothing as he walked through the campus and made his way to one of the fuller classrooms, tracking Yusuke's ki because it was the strongest of all, though Kuwabara's was making itself known, too.

Several heads turned as he opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him with no thought for the way the sound rang in the utter silence. He got the same looks he had been getting, but this time they were worse because after all, he was standing there dripping blood on the floor of a clean classroom where no one had expected that anything exciting would happen today at all—much less that they would be playing host to what seemed to be a crazy person.

Then a voice said, "What happened to you, son?"

Hiei didn't answer—he barely registered the voice, being too busy trying to pick out Yusuke and Kuwabara in the mass of staring people. It didn't take long to find them—they were in the back row, on the aisle, seated next to each other, staring at him, too, but without confusion or disgust, only fear and horror. _They_ had an idea what he had come about, anyway.

Hiei ignored the gibbering professor, who was making a valiant attempt to figure out what was going on in his own classroom, and made his way up the steps of the aisle, until he got to Yusuke and Kurama, who were now looking terrified of what he was about to say.

That didn't matter to him—Kurama had given him an assignment and he was going to carry it out fully and completely, starting with these two.

"Kurama's dead."

The words were quiet, but they nevertheless carried through the classroom so that every single person could hear him. If it was possible, the silence became even more pronounced, and the poor professor seemed to forget entirely that he was teaching a college course, that this was a final and that he should have forced Hiei out of the room a long time ago.

Then Yusuke broke the silence with a very quiet, "No. No, he isn't. You just…you had a dream…fell asleep…Kurama's fine." His voice was remarkably steady, though he didn't seem quite as calm as Hiei felt.

Hiei tried to say it again, but the words wouldn't come. He had said the two words once, and now it didn't seem that he would ever be able to say it again. So he just looked at Yusuke, and remained silent.

"Urameshi…it's…it's true."

Yusuke whipped around and stared at Kuwabara, who was looking at Hiei with tears in his eyes. "What're you talking about? Kurama's _fine_." The words were spoken in a way that told Hiei that Yusuke didn't actually believe what he was saying—that he was desperately trying to hold on to a false hope, and he knew it, but would never admit it to himself.

"I…I can't feel his energy," Kuwabara said quietly, and, like Hiei, he seemed to be calm with his despair and sorrow. "It's completely gone."

"No! No, you're both…you're lying…Kurama's just too far away to feel, that's all…and Hiei…had a nightmare…Kurama's fine…he's…_he's fine, damn it!_"

At that point, a young woman in the row in front of them started to cry. The three of them hardly even noticed that the rest of the class was still staring and that the girl wasn't the only one crying. They just looked at each other, Hiei calm, Yusuke disbelieving and Kuwabara very nearly crying himself.

Then Yusuke suddenly reached the end of his faked disbelief. He jumped out of his chair so suddenly that his test paper floated docilely to the floor and, letting out a stream of curses that would have made anyone's ears bleed, slammed his fist into the wall so hard that the shoddy craftsmanship gave way and left a rather impressive hole. And he didn't stop there—he withdrew his bleeding knuckles and started beating on every inch of the wall he could get to. Hiei stood and watched him tranquilly, while Kuwabara leapt up and tried to calm his best friend, though he seemed to be having a hard time holding himself together.

It was a long time before Yusuke calmed down, but he luckily didn't punch any more holes in the wall, which he would have to pay for later. After about ten minutes, though, his curses subsided, and he just sort of collapsed, sliding down the wall to land in a crumpled mass of humanity on the floor, tears sliding down his face at last.

Kuwabara got down on his knees next to him, and put an awkward hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles and trying to quiet him. It seemed that having someone to take care of made _him_ feel better, and enabled him to hold on to himself.

Hiei finally spoke again, in that same quiet, serene voice he hardly recognized at his own. "Kurama wanted me to come and tell you, and now I have to go and let Koenma know…Kurama had a message for him…"

And so saying, Hiei turned and left the classroom, leaving two broken people, a large group of confounded and horrified students, and one still-gibbering professor in his wake.

**Just look over your shoulder.**

**Just look over your shoulder.**

**Just look over your shoulder.**

It was dark in the Ningenkai now, as dark as the shadows around Hiei's heart. Hiei himself was now walking down the road that led to Yusuke's house. Everyone would be there, he was sure—Yusuke, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Botan, Yukina, everyone who cared about Kurama, except for Shiori, who would want to be alone. Hiei would join them, now that he had done his job and fulfilled Kurama's wish.

The last hours kept replaying themselves in his mind. Koenma's face when he learned the news—the tears in his eyes when he heard Kurama's message—the empty words Koenma had tried to use as comfort when really all Hiei wanted was his heartache. That was why he was headed to Yusuke's—there, he was sure, no one would try to make him feel better because maybe they would understand.

He could only thank all the gods that he hadn't been the one to tell Shiori. Kuwabara had done that. He had been the only one besides Hiei who was able to stay calm enough for more than five seconds, and Hiei had been in the Reikai. Hiei had seen him for a couple of minutes after he'd come back from the Reikai, and it was then that Kuwabara explained to him that Kurama's mother was all taken care of—that Kuwabara had told her Kurama had died in an "accident" and that though Shiori didn't know him, he had been Kurama's friend for a very long time, and knew him well. Then he had tactfully left her alone. He wouldn't tell Hiei exactly what she had said, or anyone else. He just said it was her business and hers alone, and left it at that.

After he met up with Kuwabara and learned where everyone was going to be, Hiei had told him that he was going to walk around a little, and that he'd be there later. Kuwabara had left then, looking mildly surprised that he'd managed to have an entire conversation with Hiei without having his head bitten off or even hearing a single sarcastic remark.

Hiei had been trying to understand that himself since he left, and he had finally come to the simple conclusion that he didn't _want_ to be sarcastic anymore. He didn't _want_ to say or do things that would hurt people, ever again. He wanted to be the kind of person people would miss as much as they missed Kurama right now. He wanted to be the kind of person Kurama might have loved, if he had been able to stay. He wanted to _change_.

Now, Hiei Jaganshi had never before had such a desire in his life, and he wasn't entirely sure how to go about it. All he knew was that he wanted to make people _happy_, since it didn't seem that he ever could be himself. It was a new aspiration to him, and he was surprised at how _good_ the thought felt.

It was a strange, strange world, and Hiei felt quite lost in it all of a sudden, without Kurama.

_Without Kurama… _

What was he supposed to do without Kurama? He couldn't for the life of him seem to remember a time when the fox _hadn't_ been around, helping him and being a friend to him. He had been alone for most of his life but now he couldn't seem to remember how to do it. He had so many questions, and he didn't think he'd ever find the answers, or know a great deal more than he did at this moment.

But he did know one thing for certain—whatever he decided to do from here on out, it would be something that made Kurama proud.

**I'll be there.**

It was late the next day when Hiei finally left Yusuke's house. He had been the last to leave, uncharacteristically, but when he did, he had felt satisfied: everyone seemed to be feeling better now, after having spent the entire night talking about Kurama, sharing stories and memories, and getting all their tears cried so that it could be over, and they could try to scrape their lives together and move on.

It was what Kurama would have wanted.

But one person was not quite better yet. Hiei had accomplished his task of taking care of everyone—everyone but himself. He had no clue as to how to do _that_. It had been shockingly easy to reach out to other people—though it seemed to surprise _them_ quite a bit—but he hadn't yet achieved the skill of looking inside himself.

There was no way he could do _that_ on his own.

He needed Kurama.

But Kurama wasn't here, and never would be again.

_I need you… _

Hiei turned the corner that led to the highway, which he had figured on following to Kurama's house. He had wanted to be in Kurama's room, just one last time, before it was emptied out ruthlessly. _That_ ritual had been explained to him the night before, along with the purpose of a "will," but he still couldn't understand it. Just because Kurama wasn't…around…anymore, why should all of _his_ things be divided up and given away?

Hiei had been so deep in thought that at first he didn't register the feeling that he was being watched. When he did, he didn't feel the usual alarm at the thought. Rather, it brought him an undeniable sense of peace and warmth.

He saw why that was when he looked back over his shoulder.

Kurama was standing on the sidewalk. He was leaning with his arms crossed against the brick wall of a large building, his bright red hair framing his face, untouched by the chill wind that was picking up. He was looking at Hiei intently, with a small smile on his face. The look on his face was one Hiei couldn't quite pin down—but it made the day seem suddenly brighter, and made life worth it for the moment.

Hiei stared, his eyes popping and his mouth slightly open. But even as he watched, Kurama gave him another smile, a small wave…and then he pushed himself away from the wall, and by the time Hiei blinked again, he was gone.

Hiei watched the spot for a moment, and then a slow smile spread across his face, and he turned away and continued down the sidewalk.

And above him, the sky opened, and it started to snow.

**Always.**

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_Author's Note: I CAN'T BELIEVE I KILLED KURAMA!_

_Anyway…so this is the end of this particular fic. I didn't think it would be, but what the muses want the muses get. But don't kill me, a sequel is forthcoming! I promise! _**hides behind a giant muffin as random objects are thrown**_ REVIEW, PLEASE! _**squeaks as she is hit by a large, rotten tomato**_ Now, really!_** indignant**

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**Reviewers' comments:**

**evil alien chickens**: Really? You thought so? Maybe it's just because I'm so self-critical that I thought it sucked…yeah, that'll be it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the rest of the fic, too!

**Nikkler**: Yay! I updated! Aren't you proud of me? LOL. And thanks so much for your compliments! Your opinion means a lot to me, and so does anyone else's who bothers to review.

**KyoHana**: Thanks! But luckily I managed to get this up BEFORE I left—I worked my butt off, let me tell you—so now I can actually ENJOY my holiday! (I never would have been able to otherwise—I'm weird that way.) But weren't Kurama and Hiei ANNOYING in this chapter? They bugged me with all their waiting around crap…I really have no control over them, I swear. _I _wanted them to get together, but they decided against it, which _really _makes me mad…

And by the way, where in NC do you live? (If you don't want to tell me obviously that's okay.) Because we're going to someplace called Maggie Valley or something like that, and I was wondering if that was anywhere near you.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Catie-brie**: Thanks for the review, hope you enjoyed the chapter, bla bla biddy bla I'm so stuffy gimme a scone! I'm glad my reviewers actually liked the flashbacks, because I _do_ know of some people who don't like them much…anyway, don't forget to be kind and drop me a review!


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